Being in an abusive relationship is very confusing and can result in emotional storm/ cognitive dissonance. The abuser calls it ""crazy"", ""mentally/ emotionally unstable"" in order to characterize the victim or the target and avoid people characterizing him by his behavior. This intro to my comment - an answer to you question was an attempt to get to the core of the phenomenon of abusers calling their victims crazy and the next target believing them.
I did not believe his exes were crazy but he said they were. Now he calls me crazy and his new girlfriend believes him. Because he promises her with his words and actions that she is very different from me and therefore she is special and will be treated better than I did. It is all part of the plot. I repeat my offer to you to stop playing in his court and focus on yourself and how you feel and what you think. You let this man disrespect you and abuse you when he had not right to do it. I think that is worth exploring.

* ploy not plot
Add on:
I did think that they were unstable though and not very worthy, especially the mother of his child who he trashed the most. I found out he was still in love with some of his exes and the trashing and smearing was just a broken ego.

i thought my ex's wife was BONKERS, and i only dated him 4 years, i cant imagine what she went thru (20 years married) now i understand why she lost it at the end/divorce, although there was so much emotion from her, i thought it was love, it was the fact that she dealt w/his crap for so long and he left her for me. terrible, just terrible, i have not apologized to her face to face, but managed to tell a good friend of hers, hopefully i helped her in some way and that she is much happier now with her new nice stable bf

Wow! - Itsjust - thank you. Your honesty is like a salve to a broken heart.

disi - Thank you so much.

The new target is with a high risk candidate for abuse. And that is that. Switching one relationship with another doesn't change a person and the risk of it becoming a pattern is high.

Read my response in the Validation post from today....I was her

Oh this hit a nerve. I am the ex wife, my abusive husband remarried approx 1 year after our divorce. We were married 23 years...so very stupid but anyway....wife #2 left him and divorced him after just 6 weeks of marriage. She contacted me about it. My kids tried to tell her not to get involved. Tigers do not change their stripes. She wishes I would have told her. Think she would listen? IDK.

My husband was married for 24 years, then his ex wife left him..married a man 10 years younger, had a baby with him, got ..they have been together for 4 years. He said she was cheating on him...He calls her crazy...retarded...and more names...of course he blames her for divorce, he does not take any responsibility for any of it. My husband and I have been married almost 2 years, now has started to call me the same names...he picks a fight saying I am not "right" or I am "acting out"...he is still bitter about his divorce...I should have seen the signs...but he told me that I was different...I was smart, have a college education...good mother...etc. I am slowing making my plans to leave him...but it is scary

I'm new here so I don't know how this works completely. But I posted here a little while ago. I posted a question and called it something along the lines of 'should I contact his current partner to warn her?' It's my story and I feel it's very relevant to this.

I won't contact her, because I know he's smeared my name and convinced many people that I am insane. But it's a really weird situation. My abuser disappeared from my life a few years ago, and now his current girlfriend is loosely affiliated with my group of friends at college. It's a really weird and difficult situation to be in. I want so badly to talk to her but I know he's lied through his teeth about me, like he lied about his exes when he was with me.

I always found it odd that EVERY girl who said they'd dated him was an obsessed stalker. He'd sometimes claim he never went out with them at all and they were deluded, or if he did admit to it he would say he only went out with them for a few weeks. One of them contacted me to warn me towards the beginning but I didn't listen. It was always in the back of my mind though... and years later when I finally left him I sent her an email apologizing for doubting her.

I can dream that his current girlfriend will seek me out for help one day. But he has claws in her very deeply. She's so in thrall with him, I think much more so than even I ever was.

And my apologies! I just realized that you're the person I was talking to on that post lol. But I think they all do realize eventually, even if it's years later. In fact I think a small part of them knows even while they're in the relationship.

I always knew that his stories didn't quite add up, but honestly it was just too difficult to think about. At the time I forced myself to believe him.

They also use that to entice the new prey, it appeals to your vanity to think there are a bunch of crazed women desperate for your partner but your're so special that he chose you... It's more that the current victim WANTS to believe the stories.

He was taunting you with his new life while being with her. He was disrespecting you and beforehand abusing you and your womanhood. She was there. She had abuse in her presence , she has a partner who is an abuser. That is also abuse in her life.
She may see it or may not, she may like it. She may think you are crazy, but as we speak she has abuse in her life.He didn't change.

My ex had me convinced for awhile that his exes were nuts, but I did feel uneasy about it and thought, "Where there's smoke, there's fire...." I never reached out to his exes while he and I were dating, but I remember once after he was insulting and rude thinking, "God, even if these women in his past were absolute bonkers, I STILL feel bad for them if he was even half as mean to them as he is being to me." I am now the crazy ex and his current girlfriend thinks I'm nuts and that I'm harassing him. This came out in court when we went for the restraining order hearing. He used spoof text messages and phone calls to show that I had been calling him. Of course, my phone bill shows no actual calls made to his phone number. I hope she finds out sooner rather than later.