Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Ugh and shiz.
Today, I emailed the ex and reminded him about paying me on time. I tend to need to email him on pay day to remind him to pay me and then he won't respond anyway or he says something crappy or abusive (All you want from me is MONEY - um, yeah)
My therapist and I are working on this. Any advice? I noticed this morning that I don't LIKE the way this makes me feel. Communicating with him in any way. Now, I am waiting for a response and he is withholding when he is going to pay me and he knows how upsetting that is.
What are the rules for NC? Are there rules? Is it that simple? NO CONTACT? I guess I need to start over.
Oh - my therapist set a start date for me as either Dec. 26th or Jan. 1, allowing for some screw ups over the Holidays. We are currently discussing the idea that NC isn't a game to give me the higher ground.... No contact is removing him from my life. Ouch.
I guess I feel chaotic today as I do what I flipping contact him. What do I do?
Today, I emailed the ex and reminded him about paying me on time. I tend to need to email him on pay day to remind him to pay me and then he won't respond anyway or he says something crappy or abusive (All you want from me is MONEY - um, yeah)
My therapist and I are working on this. Any advice? I noticed this morning that I don't LIKE the way this makes me feel. Communicating with him in any way. Now, I am waiting for a response and he is withholding when he is going to pay me and he knows how upsetting that is.
What are the rules for NC? Are there rules? Is it that simple? NO CONTACT? I guess I need to start over.
Oh - my therapist set a start date for me as either Dec. 26th or Jan. 1, allowing for some screw ups over the Holidays. We are currently discussing the idea that NC isn't a game to give me the higher ground.... No contact is removing him from my life. Ouch.
I guess I feel chaotic today as I do what I flipping contact him. What do I do?
Scared that it will break him... he regularly threatens suicide.
Fear that he will get really, really angry and ? I don't know.
It is scary but I am so weary of dealing with this every pay day.
p.s. He is in the military if that means anything in your response.
The military tends to be a huge good ol boys network but when push comes to shove legally, your attorney can play this card and get you regular, on time, monthly payments based on what the divorce papers say. And you have every right to this.
You are NOT responsible for his mental health. And it is entirely possible that he is using the suicide threats to guilt you in order to keep the illusion that he is in control. I highly doubt that it will break him. If it does, he has way more problems that have nothing to do with you.
If you are fearful that he will come after you, make sure your attorney knows that too. Include any documentation of previous physical/sexual abuse so that your lawyer is well armed.
~healing hugs~