Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
It has been a while since I have joined this board and I have not posted in a while. Denial is such a horrible foe. HIs denial of his problem and denial of what has been done to me by him is so strong.
He refuses to face himself and what he has done to me......it was a mistake, he did not understand or somehow I am responsible for his treatment of me.
We are doing fine right now and he treating me good now but for how long and yes I think that he really does love me and I think that he is sorry to some extent but sorry is not enough and I still do not trust him or truly feel his love and I still feel crushed.
I am in school and I have three kids so I feel so stuck and I just wish that he would face himself for his own sake so this could truly heal but I just do not know how long I can hope and wiat.....I want my family so badly and have done all I know what to do to hold it together and have been told the opposite.......
How can some one just want what he wants so badly that he is willing to damage someone so badly in order to get it and then just dismiss it ..........
yes make some good changes but not face the root cause...........I just do not understand and hope that I am not just fooling myself.
He refuses to face himself and what he has done to me......it was a mistake, he did not understand or somehow I am responsible for his treatment of me.
We are doing fine right now and he treating me good now but for how long and yes I think that he really does love me and I think that he is sorry to some extent but sorry is not enough and I still do not trust him or truly feel his love and I still feel crushed.
I am in school and I have three kids so I feel so stuck and I just wish that he would face himself for his own sake so this could truly heal but I just do not know how long I can hope and wiat.....I want my family so badly and have done all I know what to do to hold it together and have been told the opposite.......
How can some one just want what he wants so badly that he is willing to damage someone so badly in order to get it and then just dismiss it ..........
yes make some good changes but not face the root cause...........I just do not understand and hope that I am not just fooling myself.
In the end the hardest thing to realize is we cannot change them... or make them see our viewpoint... They live in a world where everyone must see things their way or pay a price. His words of intent are only 'lip service' and since he can't back them up with actions they mean nothing. You have a choice... you can realize he is what he is and will never change and accept your circumstances as they are... thus living in your own denial... or take steps to leave him. It's the hardest thing in the world to realize... I know... I'm facing it even as we speak.
Here4You!
^^Angel^^
I think that you are right in some ways and that is why I am in school now so I can stand on my own I just keep hoping that he will see,
I understand so much more now about transference and projection it is so amazing how these guys work......thank you for your kind reply and I pray that you find peace as well...........
I stayed in an unhappy and abusive marriage for way too long thinking that keeping my family together was the most important thing. Two and half years out of my abusive marriage, I realize how foolish I was to believe I was strong enough to be the only parent and partner who was truly trying in my relationship.
And I'm not saying you're foolish, merely human. We women are raised to hold our family's together, it's what we do as loving nurturers. Take care of the most important person in our life, you, and the rest of everything else falls into place. Maybe it's not all quite that simple, but that's a big chunk of it.
Hugs to you because I have been there...