One thing I would like to add to this list... my ex used to tell me when we would fight (basically me standing up for myself) that if I didn't like it I could leave.
That would freak me out because I would say... what are you talking about? We are having an argument... it's not a divorcable offense!
I later realized and told him that I would no longer accept him saying that to me and would leave if he kept doing it.
This is why... to me it was emotional blackmail... either you shut up and do it my way or we are over.
He said this to get me so upset about the possibility of divorce that I would stop arguing back about whatever the situation was... does anyone else agree with me that this is abuse?
I called it emotional blackmail... you might have a better word for it but what do you think?

my ex boyfriend would do the same thing, eveyrtime we would get into a small fight, he'd actually start packing his shit and say "whatever, i'm out of here, i'm leaving you!" he knew it would get me upset..finally i just said fuck it, i called the police and he left.

I hear the " if you don't like it leave" EVERYTIME we have a fight. It hurts so much that he has that little respect for me. It really shows that I mean nothing to him. My way or the highway mentality.

my husband calls me the b word all the time, and he also yells alot. But I stay because I have no place to go.

Yes it hurts to be threatened with abandonment or to have someone withdraw emotionally.
This list is not all inclusive!
Jmaria there are domestic violence shelters for women and from what I understand the abuse does not have to turn physical in order for you to get support there - counseling, support group, shelter, other services.