Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Joanieslegacy 05/31/2013

I had blocked my ex and any other exes that I needed to which seemed to help. But I seem to have an issue with the whole Facebook thing in general. This time, it is due to the fact that tommorrow is my birthday. It should be a positive thing. Unfortunately due to my childhood abuse, I have never had a happy experience tied into a birthday. I am not sure if it is because of my low self esteem, my self-hatred, or just my general dysfunction with my family. Either way, I prefer to let the day go by and not celebrate it. My sister in law chose to post that tommorrow is my birthday on facebook and say she has plans for me, then a friend chimed in and so on and so forth. I tried to squelch it and well..then I started getting Happy Birthday wishes and my anxiety started in. :( :(
So I deactivated my account.

It has been oncoming honestly. Lots of facebook friends that have drama and include me in thier issues, which are unhealthy lifestyles mainly of thier own choosing. Drinking, drugs, etc. I am barely able to keep my head on straight with my demons and work a full time job, keep a home, not go back to my abuser (which if I did, I would be crawling to him at this point) and I just need to silence my mind and isolate.

I will try to come here and read and try not to vent too much. I guess I just wish people would not force my hand and would respect my need for space when I ask for it.

azkevin 05/31/2013

I have avoided facebook for those very reasons. I just know that if I opened an account, I would eventually get suckered and probably wind up feeling more sad than happy about the whole thing. I'd be tempted to look at the pages of those who hurt me. I would leave myself open to having people from my past whom I am happy to have in my past come back to haunt me. I would be involved in family squabbles that I now happily have an excuse for being ignorant. I wouldn't have employers looking up my page.

I'm just happy, very happy, not being on facebook. I feel free.

ooooo 05/31/2013

I can only speak for myself, but I'd like to say, please vent too much!

Joanieslegacy 05/31/2013

Thank you both for your replies and support. Facebook is like a double edged sword to me. It should be a place to connect with each other and share positivity and support, but it seems at so many times it is about competition, negativity and people knocking others down or making fun instead of lifting others up. People only post the sugar coated things and we are left feeling even lonlier if our lives are not measuring up, if that makes sense? My therapist has told me, I need to try to stop assuming that just because someone posts that they are sooo happy with this someone new, I am only seeing one side of that and that does not mean, the relationship is all roses. That we all have our struggles and people often post want they WANT others to see, not what really is.

Confused2013 05/31/2013

VENT ALL YOU NEED! Stay strong and try to have a happy birthday!

deleted_user 06/01/2013

I recently did the same. Mine because I felt a need to respond on the wall publicly to the cruel accusations my ex h girl friend was saying about me. He was controlling me from a distance using her as his pawn thru fb. I feel so much better without it. Anyone I care about who cares about me knows where to find me.

I stay stuck when I keep posting back at her. I feel so high school.

I get the bday thing. Something's just really trigger me. Holidays are one of them. So something nice for yourself. After all they say self care is healing. Thinking of u and sending u a big hug

Joanieslegacy 06/01/2013

Well one of my friends texted this morning, saying people were posting on her wall, Happy Birthday wishes. I assume as I deactivated my account yesterday, it was friends and family that already knew what day my birthday was. I really feel that as these people know me (the ones she said were doing it and have access to my cell number) they could wait until later and wish it to me personally, instead of involving her. Also as I have felt this way for years, the family that was doing it, realize I tend to withdraw and isolate on my birthday and if they chose to respect me, they would of let me be, especially seeing as I had deactivated my account for some reason and they could not post on my wall..really??!
The friend had said, I wish you had not deactivated your account, now they are posting on my wall, so I just said simply delete the posts and go on about your day, sorry for any inconvenience.
It really makes me see how pushy people can be on social sites.
For anyone that has been not respected and or bullied on a social site for any reason, I really feel for you. I will really have to think hard about ever reopening a facebook account. As someone that tends to avoid conflict, drama and negativity, it seems to have all of these things.

FlyAway314 06/01/2013

I still have mine but I think about deleting it all the time. To me it seems like a competition for everyone to out do everyone else bragging about their lives and relationships and kids. My thought is that if your relationship was really great you wouldn't have the need to broadcast it all over fb to make sure everyone knows. Seems very narcissistic to me on some level.

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