Thank you dynamical, flat is the word but NICE and I am not used to NICE. I am used to the rollercoaster and thats my comfort level. I have been living by myself for about 6 month, kinda flat, no drama and it took me awhile to get used to that. I am really glad you understood what I ment. Flat is the correct word. Would I see this man again, a high maybe, because he was NICE. Maybe will turn out to be a nice friend.

I don't think your ready yet for a relationship. Sometimes it's about figuring out what we want and it seems your still trying to figure that out by dipping your toes in the water. My advice is to not date whilst you figure you out (what u want) because whilst dating could be seen as a way to experience what is on offer out there it's not really about in experience, it's about getting to know yourself better. Once you establish a strong connection of who you are, what you want, what you don't want then you'll be ready to find that. I myself am still learning about what I want. I keep being presented with opportunities for dates and boyfriends, even last night was a turning point as my "first love" contacted me and made a suggestion of coming around (even though I haven't seen him for ages and he was my friend but had cut contact with me, probably because he didn't get sex from me) and another guy contacted me who keeps trying to worm his way in (he's a family friend) and I see that he a bad egg and is abusive (with his recent ex) and I had to put a stop to him inviting himself over, where as 6 months ago I allowed him to visit me because I craved company and attention because I was insecure!

And also there had been another guy I spoke to off a dating website who seemed normal that I found dull, even he himself said "I don't think you're ready for a relationship but I will wait and not rule anything out until your ready because you seem nice but I will leave it for now" I mean that is actually very respectful but still I don't want a relationship because I am not ready. I have been in the past needing attention to feel worthy! Now I am not needing that attention and I don't want to date, don't want men to flirt or come into me or try their luck with me, I just want to be me, on my own, focusing on me, figuring me out, and when I get there I will be ready for a healthy relationship!

Perhaps this would be good for you to try so then you can break away from the desire for a certain personality!

Come onto me ***

Andrea -----

Healing from abuse
takes time and work.

Do you feel there's
been enough of
both of those
between the
end of the
abusive relationship
and now?

If yes, proceed on.
If no, do what you
feel will help to
move you to a
place of greater
healing before
you wade into
the dating pool.

I was waiting for what Ileen had to say about this. Tomorrow I will discuss in therapy. I really don't know the answer.
Am I ready to let someone totally into my life NO, would I like to go and do something or dinner with someone, maybe. I knew you all would help me with this. Right now my life is progressing pretty good.

Kaz what your said about craving attention and company makes total sense. I will think on that. I am just so careful now and thats a good thing instead of being impulsive. Right now I am as busy as I want to be with new dog, exercising, few friends and I like to stay home. I have turned into a homebody.