Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
As mentioned in my latest journal entry I have lived a pretty rough life. My parents and siblings have lacked compassion, displayed inexcusable abuse(physical, emotional and verbal) and unjustifiable hatred and tension towards me. I have forgiven and forgotten dozens and dozens of events time after time knowing that is what God would want me to do however I am now dead inside. My most recent issue is as follows...
Let me start by saying that my relationship with my mom has always been an up and down one. One day I am as good as gold and then next she is upset and flat out nasty with me for either no reason at all or for some silly reason.
My mom was diagnosed with Lung Cancer back in December 2013. She had successful surgery to remove 40% of her left upper lobe of her lung in January. As mentioned before due to my siblings inability to pull their stuff together and do what is needed to help out and take care of my parents I have always been their go to and I haven't minded a bit. Well on March 12th Mom had her first chemo treatment. She asked if I was going to come by to see her and so I did. While there I could sense she was upset with me but I didn't know why and so I decided to ask her. Apparently she didn't care for being confronted. Over two weeks later she chose to share our personal discussion with my previously abusive brother. Well on the morning of her most recent treatment I sent a text to my brother and sister simply asking if either of them were going to go see mom during her treatment and nothing more. In turn I received the most horrendous texts back from my brother advising me that mom didn't appreciate the way I treated her at her first treatment, that I was to stay away, that I was mental, an attention seeker and finally that the house I live in is, "A trash bag house". Needless to say I am hurt beyond comprehension. I am upset that my mom not only chose to share our personal conversation with him but that she thought nothing of insulting my home (my brother is never at my house) to him. I am soo tired of forgiving and forgetting! I am broken beyond comprehension and I know that my family is going to be expected that I forgive and forget again however I just don't know that I can. I don't know that I can continue to expose myself to further abuse. I am tired of having my heart broken. I am tired of crying over the people that are supposed to be the closest to me and I am tired of praying to God to take me away from this pain. Any help?
Let me start by saying that my relationship with my mom has always been an up and down one. One day I am as good as gold and then next she is upset and flat out nasty with me for either no reason at all or for some silly reason.
My mom was diagnosed with Lung Cancer back in December 2013. She had successful surgery to remove 40% of her left upper lobe of her lung in January. As mentioned before due to my siblings inability to pull their stuff together and do what is needed to help out and take care of my parents I have always been their go to and I haven't minded a bit. Well on March 12th Mom had her first chemo treatment. She asked if I was going to come by to see her and so I did. While there I could sense she was upset with me but I didn't know why and so I decided to ask her. Apparently she didn't care for being confronted. Over two weeks later she chose to share our personal discussion with my previously abusive brother. Well on the morning of her most recent treatment I sent a text to my brother and sister simply asking if either of them were going to go see mom during her treatment and nothing more. In turn I received the most horrendous texts back from my brother advising me that mom didn't appreciate the way I treated her at her first treatment, that I was to stay away, that I was mental, an attention seeker and finally that the house I live in is, "A trash bag house". Needless to say I am hurt beyond comprehension. I am upset that my mom not only chose to share our personal conversation with him but that she thought nothing of insulting my home (my brother is never at my house) to him. I am soo tired of forgiving and forgetting! I am broken beyond comprehension and I know that my family is going to be expected that I forgive and forget again however I just don't know that I can. I don't know that I can continue to expose myself to further abuse. I am tired of having my heart broken. I am tired of crying over the people that are supposed to be the closest to me and I am tired of praying to God to take me away from this pain. Any help?
I read your post and your
journal. I see that you have
the support of your husband
and a strong faith.
But coming from a dysfunctional
family of origin myself, I can tell
you that even those resources
may not be enough. You haven't
mentioned having had or currently
having counseling or therapy. If
you aren't working with a qualified
counselor or therapist, I urge you
in the strongest terms, to do so.
That has helped many of us here,
and you might find that it benefits
you.
Sending you hugs
and healing prayers.
Please take good care!
Hugs from me.