Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have posted on here about vebal abuse from my husband and although these instances happen with various "honeymoon" periods in between there is usually enough time in between for me to let it go and try to heal our relationship.
We have been going thought a longer "honeymoon" phase this lately probably almost a month.
Anyways that ended this weekend, an incident happened and he started the name calling again, minor not horrible but calling me an idiot and shut the f up and told me to be a good mother (which to me is basically saying I am NOT a good mother) anyways he does what he does a lot of the time, he coward to his room so things did not escalate however he came out a minute later and frantically started looking for something I asked him what he was looking for so maybe I could help him find it he again told me to shut the f up, he wasn't talking to me and I should basically mind my own buisness..... he stormed off to his room again and I could hear him using explitives as he went to his room, so at this point I had it. I went to his room and opened his door to ask him what the hell was his problem, He then proceeded to push me out the door and shoved me. And my arm hit the door frame (and or was pushed into the door frame). Again I went to his room because he needed to know that was unacceptable behaviour, he again pushed me out and gave me a shove and I again hit the door frame. I don't know if I slightly lost my balance or if his push directly resulted in hitting the door frame.... I do have a bruise on my arm but I do bruise easily.
Of course I resolved to leave the next day, but of course the next morning "common" sense prevails and a reset seems to take place as I am thinking about the situation again.
1. He was attempting to remove himself from the situation.
2. I barged into his room so that looks confrontational.
3. He pushed me out and I again barged into his room, I should of let him be.
Are we both guilty here or is there a line that has been crossed here?
WHAT I REALLY THINK, MOST IMPORTANTLY: all of us have hit a threshold in our own lives where the anger is so much that you have a hard time controlling it physically. It could be legitimate anger over something that was horrible that should never have happened, or somebody is overreacting. My observation from my own life is that if I am driven to a near point of rage, I'm still careful with other human beings. So like if I want to be left alone and you keep coming into my room and you won't leave even though I'm yelling and screaming at you to leave me alone and I'm forced to push you out, I will push you out, but I can promise you that I would make sure you would get through the doorway NOT hitting the door frame or the door on your way out. Does this make sense? It's almost like he was so enraged that he didn't give a crap that you hit the door frame, because I'm pretty sure he HAD to have noticed you hitting the door frame TWICE. Let alone that he had to put his hands on you for you to leave which is pretty significant in itself
All in all sounds, like he's too immature to control his emotions and you should probably just leave him alone when he gets like that and do something for yourself. Try to re-engage him when he's calm, but again he's probably just going to go right back to his anger? Are you guys in marriage counseling?