Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Pasted in from today's
Wolf's Daily Howl:
What do you feel and think about
corporal punishment?
My position is that I'm
opposed to it. I'm opposed
to it because ---- at best ----
I see it as being ineffective.
And beyond being neutral, I've
seen that in many situations,
corporal punishment actually
models violence.
Here's a story that was in the
news yesterday. What do
you think?
Adults may paddle students of opposite gender in Texas district
By Jim Forsyth
SAN ANTONIO | Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:24pm EDT
SAN ANTONIO (Reuters) - School administrators will be allowed to paddle students of the opposite sex under a rule approved unanimously Monday night by the school board in the North Texas community of Springtown.
Superintendent Michael Kelley said Tuesday the new policy would ensure both male and female students are treated equally since there are not enough administrators of both genders in some schools in Springtown, which has a population of about 2,600.
Under the previous policy, corporal punishment could only be carried out by an administrator who was of the same gender as the student. The new policy says that a school official of the same gender as the student must be in the room where the paddling takes place and that parents must provide written permission for their child to be paddled.
The punishment involves striking students on their clothed rear with a wooden paddle.
"We don't have a very large district and in our middle school there is only an assistant principal, who is a female," Kelley said. "If the old policy remains in place, then the parents of the boys at the middle school would not be able to request corporal punishment."
Texas is one of 19 states that allow public schools to administer corporal punishment, according to the Center for Effective Discipline. Even in those states, most urban schools have banned the practice and most districts that paddle kids are, like Springtown, small or rural communities. Texas allows parents to opt out of corporal punishment of their children.
In Springtown, which is northwest of Fort Worth, the paddling of two high school girls by a male assistant principal earlier this month prompted the change in policy. Kelley apologized to the girls during Monday night's school board meeting that their paddling violated the policy in place at the time.
It is not unusual for parents in Springtown to contact the school to request paddling for their children for offenses like using profanity or cheating on exams, Kelley said.
Jimmy Dunne, who heads the Texas-based group People Against Paddling Students, called Springtown's new policy "barbaric," and said he hopes it sparks debate that prompts Texas and other states to consider banning the practice.
"Children should not be hit with boards; it is legalized child abuse," Dunne said.
The Texas Association of School Boards recommends that corporal punishment be administered only by an administrator who is the same sex as the student.
Kelley said that corporal punishment works in small towns like Springtown because of the relationship between the district and the parents, most of whom have known each other all their lives.
"They're sitting beside that guy in church and they see that principal in the grocery store or at the restaurant," he said. "They have a sense of trust. So they'll call up and tell us, when their child commits an infraction, those parents will call up and tell that principal, 'Rather than in-school suspension, why don't you just give 'em a swat?'"
Wolf's Daily Howl:
What do you feel and think about
corporal punishment?
My position is that I'm
opposed to it. I'm opposed
to it because ---- at best ----
I see it as being ineffective.
And beyond being neutral, I've
seen that in many situations,
corporal punishment actually
models violence.
Here's a story that was in the
news yesterday. What do
you think?
Adults may paddle students of opposite gender in Texas district
By Jim Forsyth
SAN ANTONIO | Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:24pm EDT
SAN ANTONIO (Reuters) - School administrators will be allowed to paddle students of the opposite sex under a rule approved unanimously Monday night by the school board in the North Texas community of Springtown.
Superintendent Michael Kelley said Tuesday the new policy would ensure both male and female students are treated equally since there are not enough administrators of both genders in some schools in Springtown, which has a population of about 2,600.
Under the previous policy, corporal punishment could only be carried out by an administrator who was of the same gender as the student. The new policy says that a school official of the same gender as the student must be in the room where the paddling takes place and that parents must provide written permission for their child to be paddled.
The punishment involves striking students on their clothed rear with a wooden paddle.
"We don't have a very large district and in our middle school there is only an assistant principal, who is a female," Kelley said. "If the old policy remains in place, then the parents of the boys at the middle school would not be able to request corporal punishment."
Texas is one of 19 states that allow public schools to administer corporal punishment, according to the Center for Effective Discipline. Even in those states, most urban schools have banned the practice and most districts that paddle kids are, like Springtown, small or rural communities. Texas allows parents to opt out of corporal punishment of their children.
In Springtown, which is northwest of Fort Worth, the paddling of two high school girls by a male assistant principal earlier this month prompted the change in policy. Kelley apologized to the girls during Monday night's school board meeting that their paddling violated the policy in place at the time.
It is not unusual for parents in Springtown to contact the school to request paddling for their children for offenses like using profanity or cheating on exams, Kelley said.
Jimmy Dunne, who heads the Texas-based group People Against Paddling Students, called Springtown's new policy "barbaric," and said he hopes it sparks debate that prompts Texas and other states to consider banning the practice.
"Children should not be hit with boards; it is legalized child abuse," Dunne said.
The Texas Association of School Boards recommends that corporal punishment be administered only by an administrator who is the same sex as the student.
Kelley said that corporal punishment works in small towns like Springtown because of the relationship between the district and the parents, most of whom have known each other all their lives.
"They're sitting beside that guy in church and they see that principal in the grocery store or at the restaurant," he said. "They have a sense of trust. So they'll call up and tell us, when their child commits an infraction, those parents will call up and tell that principal, 'Rather than in-school suspension, why don't you just give 'em a swat?'"
Other forms of discipline are needed such as good old fashioned communication. Teachers, principals and if applicable, guidance counselors need to TALK with students and find out the real issue to why students do what they do, cheat, talk back, use profanity or whatever. Corporal punishment is too harsh and shows kids how to abuse.
Good topic Ilene
Linda :)
I think once a child can speak and understand that they aren't allowed to do certain things that could endanger them, like cross the street alone, then spanking becomes ineffective and sets a terrible example of the way to handle those who don't go by the rules or don't do what is deemed appropriate. it does model violence.
In regards to middle school aged kids, the most effective punishment imo is a combination of grounding and suspending any and all priveledges, meaning taking their cell phones, limiting computer time to homework only and done in a common room, livingroom and not allowing them to go to see friends or have friends over, and no games.
I have not been opposed to using spanking on occassion as my children were younger because they couldn't reason. However, it was always part of a discipline plan, always on the behind, and NEVER out of anger. I only used it when I had exhausted other means of rewards or punishments and their behavior was dangerous to themselves or somebody else (running into the street, fighting with sticks, throwing toys, etc.).
However, as they are getting older (5 and 6), I can reason with them much better and have not had to use any spanking.
My brothers got the spankings worse and more often.
Anyway, I abhor violence of anysort and I feel a child should at least feel safe at school. It is bad enough they are bullied by other children, they should not feel afraid of thier own teachers or other staff.
This part of the article really bothered me:
In Springtown, which is northwest of Fort Worth, the paddling of two high school girls by a male assistant principal earlier this month prompted the change in policy. Kelley apologized to the girls during Monday night's school board meeting that their paddling violated the policy in place at the time.
Highschool girls even by "standard" old school beliefs are too old for traditional spankings and seriously by a MALE ?!! I mean what the H*LL was the staff thinking in any of this?!! This to me is not only a violation of ethics but sexual harassment, my opinion.
Children grow up in lawless societies, if you think about it. The whims of the stronger are placed upon the weaker and it is so often a power that is abused.
Suppose, for just a moment, that it were legal to administer Corporal Punishment for traffic violations, or for overdrafts at the bank, or for missing the mark with your performance evaluation at work.
How would you feel knowing that a collective group of your peers could legally and physically pull you to the front of a meeting room, drop your drawers and hit you with whatever was in their hand?
Could you imagine the terror you might have to face if "justice" were to come to your doorstep in this fashion??
I had the hell beaten out of me by my father. This is the person I was supposed to trust and love...respect and adore. The only thing I respected about him was his ability to beat me with a belt.
I suppose, in his twisted mind, that he was obtaining from me respect for him. Nothing could have been further from the truth. I may have trusted his capacity and his advantage in physical strength, but that didn't mean that I trusted him...the person.
Like speeders slow down in the presence of a cop, it's not because of respect for the cop or of the law, it's for the respect of his ability to meter out fines.
In our state, the electronic billboards crossing over our Interstate, give the totals of fatalities in traffic accidents for the year. It's a running total and gives me pause to reflect that, as of today, 738 people are no longer living because of excessive speed, careless driving, texting and driving while impaired.
THIS gives pause for consideration and is a positive way to influence positive change.
All the more, parents and "leaders" need to find positive ways to influence better behavior from our children. It takes a whole lot more energy and creativity to lead than it does to threaten.
My father never lived long enough for me to punch him in my own manly strength. He died when I was a teenager, but there have been plenty of times when I wish that I could pull him out of his grave and beat the hell out of him.
See how the work of his hands has influenced me? I'm violent, now, as well...because I learned the way of violence early on in my life.
Read the story of Adolf Hitler. His father beat him regularly and, in fact, left him for dead when he was a young teen.
You don't beat the hell out of a child; you beat the hell into him.
Our children are our greatest asset for the future. They may be the one's taking care of you on your death bed. We must never mistreat them or ourselves and we must work to make sure that those children always feel safe, empowered, and loved.
As an adult, can you imagine the anger you'd feel if you were punished at a Company meeting? You're an adult, with fully developed Psychological Defense Mechanisms. These children have no way of defending themselves or providing for themselves and Corporal Punishment only stands to inculcate shame, terror and rage into the minds and lives of these helpless ones.
Read the profiles of the leading murderers in this country...they were almost all abused children.
Texas is one of the most ignorant of states, in this regard. Look at their stance on the Death Penalty. It doesn't surprise me that the article you've cited was from there. It's not just Texas, it's in a lot of places as well...
Violence begets violence. Much of the clinical depression we see in our culture is the violence of the self against the self. Violence is like a drop of oil that hits and spreads for a long way and stains for a long time. You'll never unlearn violent behavior; but you can ally some very strong things against it.
Why do you think the Boy Scouts of America seems to attract so many perverts? Look at your local sex offender registry. Take comfort, these are only the one's that have been caught, tried, and convicted.
There are some right down the street, just about anywhere you live.
How would it make you feel if your child was used to quench, just one time, a deep rooted sexual fetish and fantasy by paddling your son or daughter??
Nobody, in the public spectrum, should EVER be allowed to touch your child in ANY way!!!!!!
When I graduated high school, my parents moved from Iowa, where I'd had all my schooling, to West Texas, a small town outside of Amarillo. We were shocked when my younger sis started school, middle school, that paddling was common. Appalled. Once, in Iowa, a teacher slapped a smart ass kid, and she got in SOOOO much trouble for it. And here, it was policy.
Violence, only begets violence. The positive effect of it stopping some bad behavior is far outweighed by the scars it leaves. Violating another's body in any way is just wrong. For anyone, any society, to put it's stamp of approval on it, is just sad.
Think about it...Texas. Home of the cattle rancher, the oil driller, the cowboy. I mean, come on...and the associated things that go with all these things...the rootin', shootin', bull ridin', gun slingin', child paddlin' place that it is.
Line em up boys...we're havin' a hangin'!!!
I live in the South as well and, in my state, you might associate us with obese and ignorant people with some pretty sick and twisted perverts in there.
People need to consider what they're doing, regardless of where they live...and consider that the things they do to and for their children are going to come back in their societies in a number of predictable ways.
How is even a toddler going to learn emotional self regulation if they are not allowed to go through their tantrums without some overwhelming, self centered adult attention that totally clears and resets their mind with a beating??
The only thing this does is traumatize and overwhelm the child.
The child may quit crying and being angry, for the moment, but it's just going to send the child back to square one with a twisted bent of an imposed limit by the parent without the child ever benefiting from fixing their emotional issue themselves. According to Erik Erikson, this can inculcate a child with shame and a sense of internal emotional incompetence. That sense will spill over into other areas of the child's thinking as well.
There are enough scary things in this world already. A child needs autonomy, in as much as possible, so that they can grow up with a maximum sense of personal confidence and they can develop their Psychological Defense Mechanisms...which will be challenged for their entire lives.
A child needs to be entitled to their sense of Narcissism. Let it grow, then shape it. They need full election over their own bodies. If they are not granted this, then they will grow up in the terror of rejection and...especially with those girls...they'll give up their bodies for any greasy haired horny little boy that comes along promising something (love) which he doesn't understand...nor can offer...and the cycle of interpersonal violence will begin and may last a lifetime.
I asked, to myself, where's the father in all of this?? The little girl was cute and I couldn't believe the economy of the mind taking place..."if I get a paddling, I can get out of detention...extra homework...whatever".
When a child...and a parent...are conditioned and brainwashed into thinking this is an equitable exchange...and to preserve the grade point average of the girl...something has gone terribly wrong.
I wanted to reach into the TV, pull out the mother, and ask..."are you stupid???" I can only imagine what else goes on in this school.
There's your leadership.
These idiots would only slink away, like snakes, and teach in private schools in the area...or go next door to New Mexico or Louisiana to teach.
I realize that these Administrators must think, in some perverted way, that they are actually doing good by paddling kids. How about talking to them?? How about spending a little time with them? If you don't, then maybe someone in the Prison System will in a few years. Instead of the hope of graduation, they can hope for parole.