i originally posted this in my journal, but now i feel like i want to put this out to everyone. so, if you'll indulge a little double-whammy action......

I wanted to share something with all of you, and ask some advice.

By a wide margin, one of the most powerful of the many things I have done to pull myself up out of the sludge that was my abusive marriage has been writing here. The validation and empathy helped to heal me in ways I thought would be forever damaged, and the words of people who knew what I was going through has been some of the best advice I have ever received. I feel like the world is much more accepting of an abuser's lies than the truth, and prefers to judge victims and keep them from being survivors. In my experience I have had to fight on and on to be heard, like a child pointing at a desired piece of candy and growing frustrated because he can't find the words to ask for it. I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of feeling powerless and broken. I'm sick of complaining (although I am SUPER good at it) and I'm sick of feeling like the brave little damaged soldier piecing my life together in the rubble. I'm sick of all of it. So I'm trying to do something about it.

I have started building a website that is similar to DS in that it is shared stories and support from survivors, from a perspective of hope and joy. I have written some short essays illustrating some subtle devastating abuse in action, because I want to shed light on this behavior. One of my biggest stumbling blocks getting away from my ex was not being able to articulate what it was that was destroying me, and that gave him the freedom to make me feel crazy and unreasonable. I want this site to be a place where you can create a vocabulary of your experiences by sharing situations and moments where behaviors surface, like a shark fin slicing through the ocean water. I want to show that there can be funny sides to anything once you are so far into your own future it can't touch you the same way anymore. I want there to be a community for those of us who are leaving abuse in the dust and are excited for tomorrow, and I need your help.

So many of you here are so articulate and poetic in the way you describe abuse and recovery it seems a shame to waste it on only those who have the impetus to come to an online support group. We all know people like this, who don't reach out or seek therapy or do anything but implode from the pressure of constant, relentless abuse. Maybe this website could be a place for them to find accidental relief while they laugh at how witty we all are. I am asking anyone who reads this to consider sharing in some way, in any way you are comfortable. If you have a story to tell or information but you are not comfortable putting it in words, I would be happy to write up something for you and post it pending your approval. I want to create a community of survivors to inspire and shine, and I think much of that could be found in you, here.

I am also open to any thoughts, ideas or advice you have about the site itself. It is a work in progress, and collaboration is powerful. I hope to add a page of resources and would take any suggestions.

Thank you so much for any consideration. I am so happy to have found such an amazing group of survivors like you, and I would like to bring that feeling to others. Wouldn't you?

The website is WWW.COMIC-SENSE.COM, and any comments or feedback you leave on the site will reach me, and of course you can always find me here.

Thank you everyone for your efforts and compassion, you are changing the world!