I love my mother dearly, but she is the one that taught me very well how to be codependent. My father was the alcoholic abuser. We children despised him and he was a monster. Even though she knew how we felt, she made us serve him. We cooked for him, cleaned for him and took abuse from him. Now I am 41 years old. My parents are elderly. I live in the house with them but I have an apartment upstairs. I decided to go to therapy because of my ex. I was a ball of confusion and I desperately needed answers. In my therapy, I realize my mother who is textbook codependent manipulated me so much as a child. This is how I became so good at being codependent. I realized I need to finally take my son and move out. I recently bought a condo but it will take me a few months to get in it. My mother is so angry because she feels safe having my son and I here but she's stubborn. She doesn't want to leave my father or put her foot down. If I bring food in the home she gets so angry that I didn't buy him anything. She will take hers and give it to him. If I try to do anything nice for her she won't allow it if I don't include him. I used to do everything for him to keep the peace as my mother would put it. My therapist made me realize I am an adult and I don't have to do anything for him. It has gotten to the place that it was making me physically sick. He is my original abuser. My mother can see all that's wrong with my ex. Now that I have made the decision to leave my abuser, this situation with my father doesn't help. My mother makes me feel so guilty and like I'm abandoning her. Anyone have a codependent parent that manipulates them for the sake of their abuser? I just want to move forward and be well. Any advice?