Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Some of you know the story, and I should post the full story in my journal. Anyway my 13 yr old second cousin has anxiety issues from abuse in the home from step dad, he is a rape child though he doesn't know. And his mother can't decided how involved I am to be in his life. He and his brother spent the night last night at my house and all went okay. He was really giddy for a change. This morning as we were getting ready for church, we were horsing around and I knocked/he fell into a door knob. Its an older house with the glass ones. It hurt him, but no bruise. Anyway he went BERSERK!! Ran cowaring into my closet and hasn't been the same since.
He thought I was the step dad and that I was hitting him. He doesn't remember it now, he has memory issues from all of this. I keep trying to talk him through the "anxiety attack" but can't reach him (first time I can't). He has a lot of problem when he sleeps at home. I am just praying I can get him to sleep okay via cell phone and that he will wake up tomorrow with little or no memory of today.
Any suggestions? I find it interesting that he likes to hide in closets, I do too, even to this day and I am 29, abused from birth to age 14. Anyone else enjoy closets?
He thought I was the step dad and that I was hitting him. He doesn't remember it now, he has memory issues from all of this. I keep trying to talk him through the "anxiety attack" but can't reach him (first time I can't). He has a lot of problem when he sleeps at home. I am just praying I can get him to sleep okay via cell phone and that he will wake up tomorrow with little or no memory of today.
Any suggestions? I find it interesting that he likes to hide in closets, I do too, even to this day and I am 29, abused from birth to age 14. Anyone else enjoy closets?
You could do Google searches on this and check out the various links that come up.
You could see what books are in the library on this.
And you could go to Amazon.com and check out the various books there, maybe even buying one. For a start see http://www.amazon.com/Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder-Sourcebook-Schiraldi/dp/0737302658/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1215388417&sr=1-1 . There are lots more books if you keep trawling down the page. Click on the ones you are interested in.
This boy is traumatised and the accident brought it back to him. He needs expert help and you need some knowledge and ideas about what to do to help.
This child can heal a lot but how he is treated is crucial. He is hiding in the closet out of extreme fear. He needs to learn to come out and live his life but this is a slow and careful progress. He needs gentleness and understanding.
For a start I suggest knocking on the closet door and asking can you join him. Put time in there with him and don't rush it. Be friendly and supportive but be reserved enough if he gets scared if you get close. Slowly, slowly. Remember he has been raped. Chat and see if he will talk a little. Don't push it. Take pillows for your heads and lean back and meditate as time passes. Sometime you can suggest you open the door; later to move out. Take it easy. This boy is very scared. Be his careful encouragement and support. He is lucky you care.
All the best.
If left untreated, this child is in serious danger of developing serious mental health disorders, including multiple personality disorder, disociative identigy disorder and a bi-polar. It sounds like he already may have full-blown post-traumatic stress disorder, which is why it is important to get him into therapy right away.
For children, they find a place to hide. Closets are common, so is under the beds, in basements and places outside. The hiding places provide them security and sanctuary. I wish I knew what to say to help pull him out of that anxiety attack he appears to be having, but I think we are all in over our heads on this one and you really do need professional help.
One wise guy stripped naked to and joined the kid under the table. Slowly, slowly he got them both dressed and out.
Actually, I don't feel I am over my head on this. But the child urgently needs to go to see a skilled professional and to have an advocate (you?) when he does so.
DJ, I know that you are trying to petition for custody of this child, so until that happens, I need to let you know about how the laws here in the US work with regard to medical attention for children. Unless there is the consent of the custodial parent(s), legal guardian or a court order, there is no medical professional that will agree to see the child. This is something that you MUST get the mother's involvement in, unless you have since gained custodial rights to the child. 18 here is a magic age when it comes to the medical rights. A week before my daughter turned 18 she was deathly ill, and even though I had given written consent to the university to treat her, the health center made me drive an hour to take her and be there with her before they would treat her. A week later when she turned 18, I couldn't even call the health center and inquire about her wellbeing without HER concent. I know, it's crazy, but that's the way the laws are written. They may be stricter or looser where you live and certain medical professionals may hold stricter boundaries than the law requires, but across the board, getting medical attention for a child HAS to involve the parents in some form or fashion. If the mother is unwilling, you should go to social services and see if you can get a child advocate to do an intervention by way of a court order.
And yes, he probably has totally blocked out everything that happened yesterday. It is a coping mechanism, and something that may take significant therapy to help unlock.