What a long and strange trip and wild ride. I came here in October with a few breakups behind me and a few more left in me until the last one a couple months ago with an emotional abuser. I am going through my journal one year ago and it is painful to see what I've put up with. It is no wonder my successes and opportunities are shadowed with my low self esteem and self doubt. I guess I stayed as long as I did because of my low feelings of self worth and the relationship made it worse. I am grateful for counseling though it hasn't been weekly. I am very isolated in the girls I reach out to sort of aren't reaching back or responding usually, and the male friends I have to reach out to I second guess myself if I should trust them because of the male/female ulterior motive. I recently probably hurt a new fellow by telling him I don't want to get attached to a guy with ulterior motives and I need girlfriends. This is not my first emotionally abusive relationship, and my family has some abuse as well. Just thought I'd check in and let you know I am grateful for you and hopeful though struggling.
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