Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I want to ask an objective opinion of board members before I consider this.
A friend of mine was supposed to get me a name and number of a certified therapist to council me and she fell through on me. She works at a counciling center and I really thought she was going to come through. She is local and even though I had some doubts as it was local and in a small town, I was worried about privacy issues, it was a start.
Well I did my part, got her my information, and never heard back?! I feel let down and a bit like why did I bother?
Anyway, my last ex has offered a few times to drive me to a therapist or any dr that I needed. He has not always been the kindest person but when it came to my health, he was supportive and would actually schedule nuerologist appmts for me and make sure I kept them. He actually even got me some pretty expensive shoes as I have back issues and he said your feet and back are important, you need good shoes.
Same with chiropracters, he would make sure I got in when I needed adjustments.
He was odd that way, that health was important to him. He is emotionally unavailabe mostly but I always noticed that he would come through for his friends in a time of need when they needed a loan or a ride somewhere.
He was the same for me.
My question is, If he could give me a ride to the therapist/shrink recommended by my nuero in the city, with no strings attached, ( meaning sexual favors) should I take him up on this? If I could cover the cost of gas and make it clear that we are not in any way involved?
I really feel on his part, he can remain unattached emotionally as the last time he was around me he made no moves on me sexually and maintained his distance. I could even tell him that he can date whoever he wants with my blessing, I just need rides to the city until I can manage it?
Thoughts? Again, I am not fooling myself that he will be my friend, just doing me this one favor. I would be paying him reimbursement and I have no other ties to him.
A friend of mine was supposed to get me a name and number of a certified therapist to council me and she fell through on me. She works at a counciling center and I really thought she was going to come through. She is local and even though I had some doubts as it was local and in a small town, I was worried about privacy issues, it was a start.
Well I did my part, got her my information, and never heard back?! I feel let down and a bit like why did I bother?
Anyway, my last ex has offered a few times to drive me to a therapist or any dr that I needed. He has not always been the kindest person but when it came to my health, he was supportive and would actually schedule nuerologist appmts for me and make sure I kept them. He actually even got me some pretty expensive shoes as I have back issues and he said your feet and back are important, you need good shoes.
Same with chiropracters, he would make sure I got in when I needed adjustments.
He was odd that way, that health was important to him. He is emotionally unavailabe mostly but I always noticed that he would come through for his friends in a time of need when they needed a loan or a ride somewhere.
He was the same for me.
My question is, If he could give me a ride to the therapist/shrink recommended by my nuero in the city, with no strings attached, ( meaning sexual favors) should I take him up on this? If I could cover the cost of gas and make it clear that we are not in any way involved?
I really feel on his part, he can remain unattached emotionally as the last time he was around me he made no moves on me sexually and maintained his distance. I could even tell him that he can date whoever he wants with my blessing, I just need rides to the city until I can manage it?
Thoughts? Again, I am not fooling myself that he will be my friend, just doing me this one favor. I would be paying him reimbursement and I have no other ties to him.
If not, I'd take him up on it. If there is no emotional baggage or secret agenda that he may have, let him drive you.
I hope it all works out for you either way...hugs to you, hon.
Even if you are reimbursing him by buying gas, what I suspect would be that he will want you to confide in him about your health issues, confide in, so he can make judgements.
You are correct that you can't be friends with him, but don't you think he will want that? And won't you feel obligated to at least try to be his friend, after him "helping" you?
Idk but I wouldn't recommend it. There must be some other way you can get back and forth to your appointments, bus , subway, taxi, a different friend or a free health taxi or bus service for people who can't drive and have health issues....
He has be began calling me and I have been avoiding as I am not sure that I want any sort of arrangement with him as it seems he can't be fair.
It is always as I say his rules. I appreciate everyone's input. What is it about the abuser that they always have to be in charge? Even when it is not a relationship in the typical sense of the word.