Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
needafriendplease
ok read all this before you judge me please,
yesterday when i came out of work and walked to my car, my husband came from across the car park crying. He was in a right state. I felt so sorry for him, he looked awful, he was begging me to take him back. He said that he was not seeing anyone else and he loved only me. i felt really bad seeing the state on him. He said we needed to talk. He said that he would come see me today as he had to go somewhere tonight.
I got in my car and came home and did a lot of thinking, but was unsure what to do. my feelings for him were still there but he had hurt me in so many ways.
so i came up with a plan. i asked a friend of a friend to do me a favour and follow my husband. She was unknown to him and would use her car.
I let my husband come up after work today and arranged for this woman to be near my house so that when he left she could follow him.
well anyway, he came up and i know i broke the rules but this is something i had to do. He chatted to me about how he wanted to come home and that i should put his name on the business and share our life. loads of empty promises. I told him i had no trust in him anymore and that i would never put his name on the business because of it. we talked about lots of things and he said there was nobody else and that he wanted me. I so wanted to believe him and wish all the bad things hadnt happened. I loved the nice side of him and wished it was always like that.
He then said he had to go as he was going out with his 2 sons to the pub and that he would be in touch.and for me to think about things.
As soon as he left i text the friend that was waiting outside and she followed him, she kept me informed and told me he had pulled over to use his phone. soon he was off again and she kept on his tail. He was travelling in the opposite direction to where he told me he was going with his sons. she told me he had parked his car and met a blonde lady and had gone into a restaurant.
I jumped in my car and travelled to where they were, which took a while to get to. When i got there my friend pointed out to where they were at. I walked into the restaurant and i completely lost it. I had caught him out on his lies. I never swear or shout , but i did. I called him everything .He just looked at me in shock and said nothing.
The woman was very timid and i told her that he was with me earlier. she said he had told her we were divorced. I said no way, i told her he wont leave me alone and is crying to come back home. That he is a liar and a cheater.
He got up then and tryed to get me to leave. he sort of grabbed me and pushed me out the door. I snapped and hit him a few times and kicked him. He just looked at me in shock, I am not that way inclined and he knows that, i think i was shocked myself. I told never to contact me in any way, or come anywhere near me. and told the woman she was welcome to him and his lies.
Then i got in my car and drove home
I now can actually say that i am going to move forward and never let him try and worm his way back ever again.
I needed closure on this, as i was going through so many emotions. one day i would be strong and the next i would be weak. i loved him and felt unless i could actually catch him red handed and show him id seen him, he would continue to deny it. and i would never get him out of my head.
so now he knows i have gone from this weak controlled woman to a much stronger one . I dont think he be messing with me again. I will mot be taking anymore crap from him and hopefully one day find someone that will make me smile again.
yesterday when i came out of work and walked to my car, my husband came from across the car park crying. He was in a right state. I felt so sorry for him, he looked awful, he was begging me to take him back. He said that he was not seeing anyone else and he loved only me. i felt really bad seeing the state on him. He said we needed to talk. He said that he would come see me today as he had to go somewhere tonight.
I got in my car and came home and did a lot of thinking, but was unsure what to do. my feelings for him were still there but he had hurt me in so many ways.
so i came up with a plan. i asked a friend of a friend to do me a favour and follow my husband. She was unknown to him and would use her car.
I let my husband come up after work today and arranged for this woman to be near my house so that when he left she could follow him.
well anyway, he came up and i know i broke the rules but this is something i had to do. He chatted to me about how he wanted to come home and that i should put his name on the business and share our life. loads of empty promises. I told him i had no trust in him anymore and that i would never put his name on the business because of it. we talked about lots of things and he said there was nobody else and that he wanted me. I so wanted to believe him and wish all the bad things hadnt happened. I loved the nice side of him and wished it was always like that.
He then said he had to go as he was going out with his 2 sons to the pub and that he would be in touch.and for me to think about things.
As soon as he left i text the friend that was waiting outside and she followed him, she kept me informed and told me he had pulled over to use his phone. soon he was off again and she kept on his tail. He was travelling in the opposite direction to where he told me he was going with his sons. she told me he had parked his car and met a blonde lady and had gone into a restaurant.
I jumped in my car and travelled to where they were, which took a while to get to. When i got there my friend pointed out to where they were at. I walked into the restaurant and i completely lost it. I had caught him out on his lies. I never swear or shout , but i did. I called him everything .He just looked at me in shock and said nothing.
The woman was very timid and i told her that he was with me earlier. she said he had told her we were divorced. I said no way, i told her he wont leave me alone and is crying to come back home. That he is a liar and a cheater.
He got up then and tryed to get me to leave. he sort of grabbed me and pushed me out the door. I snapped and hit him a few times and kicked him. He just looked at me in shock, I am not that way inclined and he knows that, i think i was shocked myself. I told never to contact me in any way, or come anywhere near me. and told the woman she was welcome to him and his lies.
Then i got in my car and drove home
I now can actually say that i am going to move forward and never let him try and worm his way back ever again.
I needed closure on this, as i was going through so many emotions. one day i would be strong and the next i would be weak. i loved him and felt unless i could actually catch him red handed and show him id seen him, he would continue to deny it. and i would never get him out of my head.
so now he knows i have gone from this weak controlled woman to a much stronger one . I dont think he be messing with me again. I will mot be taking anymore crap from him and hopefully one day find someone that will make me smile again.
I love that you feel stronger, more determined. But do be careful - he will not like being caught out, and I wouldn't guarantee that his messing with you is over. But I love that you won't take any more crap from him.
Time to start living for you, making yourself smile again. :-)
Hopefully you will feel stronger and sure of yourself . I know it must be difficult to know this side of the man you care(d) about. I am sorry for your sadness and yet glad you may see closure sooner because of it....
I am glad that you can trust a friend. That is something that will help you gain strength.
I'm sorry you had to go through this, though. Take care of yourself.
You did just that. I can hear in your words that this is EXACTLY what you needed to help you move forward.
Good for you. The truth will set you free!
But do be safe. He is no doubt very angry at what happened. Be extra careful for a while.
Peace
Good for you for finding your strength and anger. As others have said though, just be careful.
THIS IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR!!!
I went through something eerily similar with my ex, except it was a message on his phone that came up as I was looking at his pictures... And he was planning our wedding. I threw the phone at him! I had never been so pissed or felt so betrayed in my life!
After all of this, he still tried to deny that I was seeing what I was seeing! I am sure your ex will do the same, if given the chance to merely breathe in your presence.
It is so wrong. In every way.
I am sorry, Needa.... We are all here for you!!!
Would have loved to have seen his face when you turned up.
Big hugs xxx