Just thought I'd give you guys an update about my situation. 

Last time I wrote in the 'I got him arrested' post I was on about that my ex and his mum had our son over night so I could attend college.. boy did I fall for that!!

I haven't seen or even spoken to my child in a week. Ive asked everyday if I could have him back, his mum has ignored me a couple of times and my ex well... he's ignored me everytime until today when he just kept saying come here and see him if you want..I don't know if its just me but I don't want to go to their territory to see my child because i would feel awkward and I'd feel uncomfortable. I then decided meeting at a play centre to which he replied 'come here and see him if you want' he's now ignoring me again. I'm at my wits end, I'm heartbroken I'm severely depressed, I couldn't even watch a programme with children in it, as soon as I saw them hugging their mum I burst out crying. 

This week has been an absolute nightmare. I've had my exs sister slagging me off all over Facebook writing bout how I'm missing out of our sons life and it's me to blame,i can't deny him a dad, and that I'm being childish becauae I've changed the locks on my door to try and keep his possessions and that I'm well out of order. Not the case at all, I spoke to a domestic violence helpline thing and they said to change the locks asap and if he wants his stuff back to get a police escort, I felt unsafe, i was curtain twitching every time a car went up the road, I was an anxious mess! Plus he kept coming in and out and being patronising and making me out to be crazy and I had enough of it, that's why I did it. Now he's playing God with our child using him as a weapon. 

I've got college work to do and I can't even concentrate on that, in fact I can't even concentrate when someone is talking to me. I know things are different in the US but in the UK it's supposed to be 50 50 to each parent and right now its not that.. the police can't do anything, it's going to end up in court which I didn't want and  neither did my exs mum, but if he's being an absolute idiot and not letting me see him unless it's at his mums house with them all there or on his terms then it's going to get really nasty.

I literally don't have the energy for this, I just want to cry and never stop!