Hi Andrea, what I have found is that building a new life takes time and many many steps. Some steps forward, some back & some sideways. I've been out a long time and the first few years were very lonely & very rough.

Coming to DS was a huge help. I made friends here that I still have today. And, it's good practice for real life, especially when it comes to learning to trust our gut and recognize red flags.

Some of the things I did that helped were:

taking adult ed classes at the local community college - some colleges even offer lectures & other activities, including travel for seniors

taking online college classes for credit
going back to or developing new hobbies
checking local senior center activities
joining local book clubs, discussion groups, etc.

going to a local divorce support group like Rebuilding.org or DivorceCare - even tho they don't really deal w/abuse, they can be helpful in adjusting to being alone and grieving the loss of the relationship/marriage

Individual & group therapy really helped me.

asking people you know & even strangers what there is to do you your city

subscribing to your local downtown community development newsletter - many times they list the various happenings each week or month

If you are at heart, an introvert, its important to have down time to recharge and its important to take good care of ourselves. I do that by:

meditating & doing guided imagery
practicing daily gratitude
chanting (this can change for the better my mood in minutes)
listening to music
reconnecting with nature
continuing my therapy
doing things I enjoy

In the meantime, there's a great video on youtube about how to be alone that helps to get us out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

~Hugs~

My aunt went through the same thing. I don't know if you like to read a lot but she did so she went to a local book store and met new friends there. I don't know if there are any book clubs in your area but that might be something fun to try. Or even your library may have something. I hope this helps.

MTC had awesome stuff
(as usual), and Lizzy's
thought was good, as
well.

I'm 3,000 miles from
home, and I made a
new friend at a bus
stop. If you focus on
taking care of yourself,
and doing things that
nourish you, there
will be like-minded
people around who
may be good people
to know.

Sending you hugs
and healing thoughts.

I hear you. Sometimes that lonliness is what draws us back to our abusers. But you have to continue to remind yourself that would only cause further pain.
Can you explore some hobbies that you've drifted away from? or just enjoy walking with your dog.

For me being in nature and hiking is the best stress reliever.

So far this is what I am doing: I swim with my oldest friend 2-3 times a week and we really swim like a mile in a metered pool, so usually after that I am tired. I am always reading so the next time I go to the library I will find a book club because its an active library, I got a volunteer job that I'm not thrilled with but it give me some sturcture and I have meet some very nice women there even thought they are much older than me. (They still know of people and activities) I live in AZ so as soon as the weather cools we will be going to the dog park. I also joined MeetUP but have not done anything with them yet. Thanks for all your help. When we are with an abuser we are so isolated and they are our live. We were together for 6 years.

I sure agree that making new friends is different in your fifties. I'm 51 and sometimes feel pretty isolated, which can be depressing. I think you have made a lot of great moves, with moving across country to family new dog new home. And volunteering and counseling at the dv
is wonderful. I wish you lived around here. We could go walking.

There are so many good suggestions here, and you seem like you are really pursuing peace. I'm glad you lived by family and friends.

You are free! Congrates. One step at a time.