Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Breaking the sex hook

Loved1
Loved1
How have you broken the sex hook to an abusive ex?
I find realizing he doesn't treat me well leads me to be less inclined to want that kind of contact. Sometimes I feel hooked to him and try to convince myself it is ok, and this gets me in trouble, because he starts treating me like he needs sex from me even though our relationship is not healthy. I am attached to him in this way and I think it is a final hook in my increasing distance from him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been wondering about that very question. If I say no to him...he well gets it any way he can. It makes me feel ashamed. Dirty. How do you break that I don't know - I am waiting for other to respond to your topic also. I am so hounded right now, and alone with this...thank you for asking this important question.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well, I'm in the group, too, guilty of having sex because I didn't want to be witholding, didn't want him to feel punished, gave him lots of leeway because I was married and loved him.
I even told a priest about it one time and he told me that God blessed our union and I had a covenant. OOHH...don't tell a nice Catholic girl to go against something like that!!
Well, it became more and more empty, as you can imagine.
When I finally gave him divorce papers we hadn't had sex in a Very long time.
He cried, begged me to re-consider and gave me a honeymoon for three weeks. I was feeling sick about trusting him again, espcially this way.
But, I slept with him and felt so horrible sick about it, sicker than anything I've ever known and couldn't live with myself. Just dirty.

I guess that cured it, but it's like dying a slow death, so that was the turning point.
I just had to trust my gut and take care not to throw myself to the wolves anymore. There must be a better way to finally come to that realization, so I'll be reading on, too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
What broke me from him? He tried to accuse me of passing on a std to him. I had myself checked out and all my test were normal. I believe he lied to get me to confess that I was having an affair. He was jelous and controlling. I never thought he would go to that extreme. He confessed he called a prostitute but I know better.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's hard to have sex with someone that that doesn't seem to feel anything for you. He just lives in the house. After a while you can't do it anymore. I don't know why so many men a distant. My brother (I have 3) said that when they were young and they tried to start dating, the girls where mean. I think they got hurt a lot just trying to ask for dates etc. Maybe they just turn off. I don't know. But even so, it makes it hard to relate to them when they get older.
I guess you just keep looking and hope you can connect to someone. Good luck.