My husband and I have been married almost 10 years, with a 4 year old and another baby on the way. He's funny, sweet, supports me, helps around the house, great guy. But little things trigger fights that get nasty...

long story short we battled secondary infertility and took 2 years and IVF to get pregnant again. My husband will be the first to tell you he handled it poorly. Turned to drinking, hid his drinking, got angry often. During IVF he was so stressed he got drunk and punched me in my bruised stomach. For a stupid reason I forgave (it was stressful all around).

We've fought since, mostly about his drinking as he's eased off and I do believe he's changing with that. But if I doubt him for a night... biggest trigger ever.

Last night I accused him of having booze in his car again (found a cup smelling of vodka in the garage). He twisted my arm so hard I screamed, slammed into my collarbone, pulled me standing by my hair, grabbed me by the arms so hard I have bruises.

This morning (I'm 6 months pregnant mind you) he was on his knees apologizing and saying it's never ok to hit, he was so upset he was physically ill. 

I'm at a loss. Can a guy change? Am I an idiot for not packing up my daughter and me today? Pregnant, freelance writer so I'm on his insurance, need to deliver this baby...

My thought is to start picking up work, putting money in my business account, and document incidents. Then I can be more stable to leave if this goes on. I'm just at such a loss and need words of wisdom without feeling stupid for putting myself in this situation. Thank you <3