Hi everyone,

I haven't been around for a while - this is my first time posting on the new site. Anyway, I wanted to say today marks five months since I kicked my abusive husband out of the house and I'm SO proud of myself for staying out for this long (before I never would have been able to compliment myself that way :P) It's been a hard, hard road and I still have a lot of work to do. Last week I dipped back into a depression and I let him talk to me on the phone and he planted his poison seeds again about trying to get back together. It's crazy how even one little comment from him can still get the wheels in my head turning and obsessing. Sometimes I still get very sad longing for the good times and wishing I had someone to talk to at the end of the day. I also feel so sad about raising my precious little 2 yr old girl in a home without a father. I really know I made the right choice to leave him though, and I've never felt better about myself and my worth. Even aside from the abuse he's a very selfish and immature person; can't rely on him for anything. We finally got a custody order in place and he only sees her three hours every other weekend. I'm so grateful and relieved he doesn't get to take her overnight.  I can file for divorce after being separated for one year.

I have been going to a therapist who specializes in trauma and abuse recovery, and EMDR therapy. It has been truly life-changing to have her supporting me. The EMDR was difficult - it makes the emotions feel even more intense and exhausting but then it helps you process and resolve things much more quickly. Thank you all on here too who gave me good advice and sympathy. That really helped me survive the early stages of the separation and helped me to stay strong. I hope I can provide some comfort and wisdom to others too as I continue on my journey.