Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

5,836 Members

27,933 Posts

0 Online

newerme38 07/04/2018

So I've had some memories of mistreatment as a kid but nothing like my husband. I was in the car with him and his elderly mother and she made light of the abusive way her and her husband forced him to over eat. I had had enough and said something to her that it was not okay. All she said was she was a bad mom but I feel like it came out odd. Don't know if she was trying to dodge the uncomfortableness. I didn't appreciate her making fun of the abuse. There's been much worse done to my hubby some his mom might not even know. He's said his piece a few times but she still sounds like she's making light. She does do some nice things in general but I don't want to be around her personally but that's up to him. I just feel like he deserves better than that. It's so hard trying to be there without trying to push my views on him. I'm hoping were moving in near future because I'd like to be away from that chaos.

lynch 07/04/2018

i was able to spy on my cheating ex phone without finding out.....it really helped me during my divorce ...you can contact (hacksecrete@gmail.com) call or text him on +1(617) 402-2260 for spying and hacking social networks, school servers, icloud and much more,viber chats hack, Facebook messages and yahoo messenger,calls log and spy call recording, monitoring SMS text messages remotely,cell phone GPS location tracking, spy on Whats app Messages,his services are cheap.. and please tell him i referred you to him he is a man with a heart of GOLD.

Livingtheabusefreelife 07/04/2018

That sounds awful. She may very well never take responsibility for not protecting her son from abuse, which is a big part of being a parent, protecting children! If she stops minimizing she has to accept responsibility and my guess is she doesn't have the tools to deal with that, or she wouldn't still be minimizing, she'd be struggling with it, dealing with it, working through it.

I'll be honest about it, it totally and royally ticks me off when people minimize abuse. For myself I know it's due in part to the abuse I endured that I have very high validation and justice needs in me, and because the lack of those things when I don't get them it feels like an attack on my autonomy, which I am fiercely protective of, so that's my baggage, but that kind of thing really ticks me off.

I think it's fine as paint that you both call her out on it, as long as you know the response will likely be more denial and minimization, and that can be another layer or trauma for some, so kind of evaluate that for yourselves, if you know what I mean.

newerme38 07/04/2018

Ty yeah I was proud of myself for saying something but I stayed calmed. I'm getting better at expressing myself without totally losing it, feels great. I've got to realize people don't get each others perspective and maybe we just have to find a way to move past. The good things she does does not excuse the other things but maybe we have to find a peace of sorts to stop the hurt and rage. I know everyone hurts another but that's just too much for me it's time to move on physically and mentally.

Livingtheabusefreelife 07/04/2018

WOW, you are sounding so-friggin-healthy!!!! You should be proud of yourself, you handled the whole yucky situation with so much grace, compassion for all, and dignity! Flawless, IMHO! Your outlook, so both self-loving and respectful to the dignity of others!

You've got to protect what you value, it is never wrong to do so. If you value peace and tranquility put boundaries around your peace and tranquility and protect that, and it's nothing against your MIL, it's about protecting what you value. Good for YOU!

You are healing. It happens, WOOT! WOOT! You've been doing the work and you'll start feeling the benefits.

Join the Conversation