Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Joanieslegacy 01/25/2014

Planning a visit to my exes parents tommorrow and asking for positive thought or prayer. We have always stayed close through the years and they are like parents to me as I lived with them for many years. They have been asking me to come visit and as they are having health issues and we are suppossed to have a break in weather tommorrow, I plan to. I will be dropping off a few small gifts for them as I was not able to get up to see them over the holidays. I also plan to drop off a stocking for ex with a book by one of his favorite writers, some candy and a gift certificate to Walmart. Also one for his dog as like me he has a fur baby child. While I realize this does not make up for anything, I just want to do this so he knows he is not invaded about or alone in the world like he sometimes tells his Mom. If nothing else he can use the gift card to buy stuff for his dog.
Anyway, asking for strength and positivity. I plan to call ahead and make sure to clear the time for just me and his folks. I respect him to much to interfere if he does not want to see me.
Thanks for any support.

RockinBunny 01/25/2014

Aww, that's really sweet of you, Joanie... will keep you in my thoughts and hope it goes well :) xxx

vernacular 01/25/2014

hi joanie! it's me, the a-hole who always seems to find the negative in your sweetness. honestly, it's like kicking bambi in the face, yet i still do it.

i will send you a laser beam of positivity for your visit, but you don't need to bring him a damn thing. sometimes people feel alone in the world because they should, because they are alone, because they shit on everyone close to them.

leave the guilt on the curb, it is too heavy to carry. these wonderful kindnesses you bestow, the visit, the gifts.all overshadowed by your worry for him. put the focus back where it belongs you, and your awesomeness.

Joanieslegacy 01/25/2014

Kicking Bambi in the face...oh man that's rich! Lol. Bambi is pretty onry really. I was gonna go visit the Mayhem dude but he won't lift the restraining order...darnit. haha

deleted_user 01/26/2014

Sending prayers for a positive experience!

SunBlossom 01/26/2014

Joanie you're in my prayers! Please let us know how it goes. Please, please, please when you go, have no expectations. You're such a sweet person and I think we all want to protect you. I think seeing his parents and having small gifts for them is enough. I don't want you to be disappointed by the ex. :-(. But I am pushing POSITIVE waves to you right now! Good luck! We have your back! :-)

Joanieslegacy 01/26/2014

Thank you everyone. I am fighting anxiety while drinking coffee and wondering if there is any way I could possibly upset him in doing this? I figure he sees his parents most every night so if he chooses to stay away because of my visit (which last time I was there he did not and we were civil) it is not like I am taking much time from him. Also I don't expect acknowledgement or thanks for the stuff I bring him. I just want to do it as I know he has not been working and also has depression. Anyway, mustering up the nerve and will update later.

ooooo 01/27/2014

Good luck to you!

Joanieslegacy 01/27/2014

Well I went and I had a very good visit with JUST his parents, which was really all I could of handled. I got his Dad a few western movies as he loves Westerns and his Mom a really plush cozy blanket to cuddle in as she is sick and in bed a lot. Of course big hugs for both as well. I got the homemade stockings for him and his dog, Nip to his parents, along with a bunch of dog treats, chew bones and bag of dog food. This way he can spoil his fur baby. Of course I got him a few things, a camouflage shirt (if he don't want it, I will wear it) turtle candy, and 3 books I thought he might like. One was A Christmas Carol by Dickens as that was his favorite Christmas movie. I look at it this way..if he doesn't accept the gifts, I tried and will take the dog stuff to a shelter. If he accepts but still holds a grudge, at least I tried and know I did it from the heart.
Either way, it did me good to visit with my ex in laws and feel loved for the time I spent.

RockinBunny 01/27/2014

Aww... Joanie, you have a heart of pure gold, you really do :) It sounds like his parents really appreciated you going, and if he doesn't respond,well, then he just doesn't... BUT, you tried. And you did some super-sweet things!

Good for you, and glad you felt so loved as well :) We love you too, don't forget! xxx

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