Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I took a mental health day today. My husband has been emotionally and mentally exhausting me with his constant lack of my boundries and lack of empathy he has for me. NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING I say or do to prove to him that I am completely over this relationship and marriage makes any difference.
He is absolutely convinced that our issues are a complete result of lack of communication and my lack of understanding of what he actually meant when he said negative and bad things to me.
I picked up my kids from school tonight, I had to stop at the pharmacy to pick up my medications and it wasn't ready. So I decided to take the kids home and run back out later to pick it up.
I get home, my husband comes out of the house and tells me that he has 3 pod casts I must listen to. 1. being women being sensitive and not understanding that men don't know how to communicate. 2. Women taking care of themselves so that their husbands feel that their wives love them. I haven't heard the 3rd yet, but I am completely disgusted by this. WHAT THE HELL DOES HE NOT GET?!?!?!?!
He seems irritated that I am not interested in this. He is telling me as I sit here that he doesn't understand how I don't see how this was all communcation breakdowns.
UGH!!!
He is absolutely convinced that our issues are a complete result of lack of communication and my lack of understanding of what he actually meant when he said negative and bad things to me.
I picked up my kids from school tonight, I had to stop at the pharmacy to pick up my medications and it wasn't ready. So I decided to take the kids home and run back out later to pick it up.
I get home, my husband comes out of the house and tells me that he has 3 pod casts I must listen to. 1. being women being sensitive and not understanding that men don't know how to communicate. 2. Women taking care of themselves so that their husbands feel that their wives love them. I haven't heard the 3rd yet, but I am completely disgusted by this. WHAT THE HELL DOES HE NOT GET?!?!?!?!
He seems irritated that I am not interested in this. He is telling me as I sit here that he doesn't understand how I don't see how this was all communcation breakdowns.
UGH!!!
He's such a knob ed!
Funny thing is that communication involved " empathic listening" and unconditional positive regard, non of which he can demonstrate to u from himself yet he clings onto the whole communication thing!
i'm so sorry you are having to go through these hard times, and this gross behavior in particular.
"NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING I say or do to prove to him that I am completely over this relationship and marriage makes any difference."
OK, you know that, we know that and he knows that. So for heavens sake stop beating your head against a brick wall and trying to make him see, when we all know he refuses. It's not going to happen. Just stop
He's just going to keep getting worse and worse as long as you keep arguing with him. Just tell him you can't watch or listen to something cause you are busy.
Of course it's up to you. I absolutely hate arguing and I don't argue with anybody.
I wish you luck with that jerk!!!!
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
You won't convince him, so stop wearing yourself out by trying to.
I am looking for places to live now and as soon as school gets out I will make my move.
Until then, I guess I will just reman exhausted. And will probably drive you all crazy, LOL, because I come here to vent.
Thank you everyone for being a firm shoulder of support for me and everyone else on here!
Happy Wednesday! :)
Take care of u now!
I like Kaz's suggestion of moving around. Lock the bathroom door and take a bath? Take a walk around the block? Do something with your son if he's available? Take up some really complicated crafting project so you can at least keep your hands and mind busy and tune him out while he's talking at you?
((hugs))
KEY:
DON'T ENGAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are a POW planning an escape.
DON'T ENGAAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can:
Pretend you're half listening
or
remember something else
you urgently need to get to
or
smile and AGREE.
(Remember, your
only goal is to
plan your ESCAPE.
If you casually agree,
he will no longer
experience the resistance
which is making him
counter you with an
exhausting compulsion.)
Keep in mind that
you are not. . . .
not now, not EVER. . .
you will never, never,
NEVER going to
convince an abuser
that he (or she) is
an abuser.
As I urged in a previous thread,
if you must stay till the end of school,
decrease how much you engage
with the abuser. A good way to
do that, is to shift your focus
away from him, to your
new life.