Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

5,836 Members

27,933 Posts

0 Online

Joanieslegacy 04/19/2012

I would like to apologize to anyone I may have offended on here with my blunt honesty and my raw emotion. I have probably come across wrong, especially tonight as the anger has set in with all that has happened and I just kind of let it go. I normally try to keep that bottled inside and just reach out to others, not come across as a negative and hateful person. If I have done so, please just try to understand that it is my wounded heart, integrity, and pride.
I understand that we all have issues in life. I have a lot of them, you can just look to the left side of my profile and see and that does not even cover them all. I guess I just don't understand why that when I have been through this pain and seen my family and friends suffer and some die, and have chosen the higher road, to keep being strong and reach out, always reach out and help others..I guess I don't get why those who have abused me use the same issues as an excuse to be mean and to tell me I am stupid and too compassionate, that no one really cares anyway, and that people only want me for what I can offer them at the time.
Tonight it just got to me..for that I deeply apologize. Perhaps it is best if I refrain from voicing an opinion and just read and learn, and if I can't toughen up as my last ex said..back up and regroup.
Thank you for the support, advice and friendship given and I wish you all better, more peaceful and happier days ahead.

rainyangel 04/19/2012

Joanie, I personally haven't seen anywhere on here that you seemed offensive to anyone. It's a discussion board and you have a right to have your feelings and thoughts too just like everyone else. It's ok to feel angry or sad or whatever. It's a support group. Not a, let's all act happy and positive no matter how we feel and I'm always gonna say what everyone agrees with, group. We all have our days and express ourselves in different ways at different times. You weren't putting anyone down or saying anything offensive that I could see. hugs

Livndadrem 04/19/2012

I've not noticed anything offensive either.

Please stop listening to your abusers and assuming that what they have said about you is the truth. Know your own truth, know who you are and what your motives are, and then feel free to express yourself as you wish.

Joanieslegacy 04/20/2012

Thank you both for your replies. I guess I am just second guessing my emotions, my decisions, my everything...
I am torn between expressing myself to help get the hurt/anger/pain out a bit, asking advice but not overwhelming the board with my posts, and being fair to this abuser. I know that sounds odd, but as any abuser, he was not and is not always mean. He has issues and addictions and I brought my own problems into the relationship I am sure. He did not ever beat me, so I have had meaner, I am just so screwed up in my head right now. Thank you.

Livndadrem 04/20/2012

Pour it out as much as you want or need to. Don't worry about overwhelming the board - we are all here by choice, and we all read and respond to what we want to read and respond to, what we feel we have something to say to. So by posting a lot, you are not overwhelming anyone.

As for the feelings of wanting to be fair to your abuser, well I guess all I can say is that the best way to be fair is to put all the facts out there and get some objective feedback. And remember that you are free to remain anonymous here, so you are not trashing anyone's good name.

artemis000 04/20/2012

I haven't read any offensive posts by you, Joanie. Getting rid of negative emotions by voicing your feelings and thoughts, as RainyAngel said, is what this Group is all about. There's no need to apologise to anyone here for doing that - we've been there and know what it's like.

Hugs

Joanieslegacy 04/21/2012

Thank you again for allowing me to voice my opinions and thoughts, I guess that is why this is called a support board.
I think it is still part of the stigma of abuse that you are afraid of confrontation or judgement and so you try to avoid it.
In being honest, I can say my last abuser was not a horrible person by any means, he was just manipulative and not capable of telling the truth, controllive and did not take any blame upon himself for his actions, whether they be verbal or physical. Just not the type of person in looking back that I want or need in my life.
This is why the No Contact is the best way to not only heal from this but move on from this.
Thanks again for the support on here.

JillieBean71 04/21/2012

I haven't been reading much of late....been too busy, but I can say that for myself, this is the place to voice your opinions and feelings and get the acceptance and support you need. Never let anyone, including yourself, tell you otherwise. So long as you aren't venting AT anyone here, just venting in general about what is happening in your life, no one that I know of here will be offended.

Joanieslegacy 04/22/2012

I am bad at second guessing myself and at apologizing. I have had people even ask me, Why are you apologizing and what for? I think it stems back to being in a home where I always tried to be the peacemaker. I was conditioned perhaps at a very early age to be quiet, be peacable, be a good girl, go with the flow and maybe father won't go off on Mother because he had a bad day at work and decided to drink his frustrations away.
Anyway, I do apprecaite the support here. Thank you.

Join the Conversation