Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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an introduction

jimmysquirrel
jimmysquirrel
allo, i am definitely not as bad off as many here... but here goes, i am mainly here, because i am trying to help 2 ppl (one online, the other IRL) get out of abusive relationships, and it is an uphill battle the whole way. They want to leave, but are so scared, as well as their heads are so wrapped up around the abuser that it is astounding... and i understand it... a bit, because my father was an emotional abuser, but after a few years, when i recognized a duck as being a duck, i got out... and havve not looked back. And while i have not spoken to my father in 8 years... i miss him, but i do not regret that decision... especially since the primary person that was abused was my mother... and he was using me to hurt her after their divorce... and when i knew that... well, not only was my shame at being a tool to hurt my mother... but the shame that i was not seen as a person to my Dad... so yeah, i mot not have had it worse, but it ain't been no picnic either. And at one point... i almost became an abuser... during my alcohol days(i am an alcoholic) but i was abble to see what i was doing, so i gave up on relationships for a while(the booze was too important... i wouldn't get in a relatiionship... but i couldn't give up the alcohol yet either) And well, i am sober for a year and a half now, and well... that is my story pretty much... and now, as for the reason i am here... as stated earlier, helping 2 ppl out... as well as one of my best friends was in an abusive relationship, and i am looking to get some support and how to properly help ppl that do want help...
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is very hard to separate ourselves from our parents, even when they treat us like dirt. It's been three years since I spoke to mine, he was the emotional abuser. I also miss him, but looking back on everything he did I am realizing, too, that reconnecting would be a *really* bad idea. Still-- he *is* my father. I am not sure what to suggest about your friends, except that I think they have to be the ones to know when they are ready to leave. When they see the abusers for what they are, they will.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you for trying to help those of us in situations that we want to leave but can't, for whatever reason.

I think the biggest piece of advice is to be there to support them no matter what they decide to do. There will be days when they're leaving and days when they're staying, but if they know you'll always be there, then when the time comes to leave, they might be better able to, knowing you're there.
jimmysquirrel
jimmysquirrel
oh yeah, i am here for them... and it is like a see-saw...i just hope that they get off the ride before they get killed by it... but like with my other friend... i will just constantly be there, and when they do break free, i will be there.