Wow so powerful!! Thank you for sharing. Just yesterday I told a friend about another person who I
considered a friend, that I was tired of being put down by her whenever I saw her. Your hair looks awful today. Your hubby won't let you do what? Your'e a whimp. She said but she's really got a good heart. and I said I'm sure she does but I am not going to be around her by choice any more. I felt proud of myself for saying that. Now if I can
just work on hubby.

bax- good article. the part that particularly helped me today is #5 Your empathy is completely destabilized--- that my emotions may be in hibernation, but will come out eventually and I will be stronger and more compassionate (I don't know that I want to be more compassionate than I am as my compassion creates much pain and struggle for me at times, but maybe it will be more organized and healthier compassion).
Thanks for the good info.
I must say that this board has given me such wonderful resources. It is good to have the opportunity to learn from each other and see the resources useful to others.

Great article, thanks for sharing. I've read a lot of it before from other sources, but sometimes it just helps to hear it all again. So comforting to know that what I'm going through is normal. I'm still at the stage where my empathy is destabilized and I'm taking a break from pretty much all new relationships. Exhausting, isn't it?

Sounds great, Bax, thanks! Just what I need today. Gonna give it a read and maybe pop back later with some feedback. Having a late dinner right now :) xx

Excellent article, Bax. Thanks for sharing. There's a lot of good information in there to help us process the hard lessons we've learned from being with a toxic person -- and make something positive come out of it.

Isn't it nice to know a lot?
And a little bit not.

Hi Bax
This is a great article - thank so much for sharing!

The projection of their feelings on us, after years of that, it's only natural that we start to believe we Are that way. I do feel like my equilibrium is off and that numb feeling is setting in. I wish I could get my mind to stop playing tricks on me.

#3 about boundaries really hit home for me too. Now that I'm realizing what's been happening for so so many years, I'm starting to stand up for myself, but I feel guilty and like I'm being a bitch for saying - no I dont want to do xyz, I want to do xyz. It's comforting to know that in time we can build up our self esteem and wake up our crushed spirit and hopefully come out stronger than before.

#6 too really hit home. I often say I feel I lost an innocence. Never could quite explain it, but they explained it perfectly in this article. My fear is Ive become so aware of these behaviors that I fear I may never trust anyone fully again. How would I know if people are just saying things as their tactics to get what they want?

Sending strength and hugs,