Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I offended someone here this morning
with a glib response ---- for which I am
truly sorry.
Leaving abuse is never easy.
It took me years, myself. I, also,
was financially dependent, (though
not broke), because I couldn't have
lived on the salary I was earning at
the time. It took me awhile to
maneuver to a better circumstance.
I was not, however, in overt physical
danger, and was no longer so depressed
as to be a threat to myself.
Finances, and dozens of other reasons,
keep people stuck in abusive circumstances.
I'm sorry that I impatiently wrote what
I did, this morning. It was wrong and
I regret doing that. I hope the poster
will accept my sincere apology.
with a glib response ---- for which I am
truly sorry.
Leaving abuse is never easy.
It took me years, myself. I, also,
was financially dependent, (though
not broke), because I couldn't have
lived on the salary I was earning at
the time. It took me awhile to
maneuver to a better circumstance.
I was not, however, in overt physical
danger, and was no longer so depressed
as to be a threat to myself.
Finances, and dozens of other reasons,
keep people stuck in abusive circumstances.
I'm sorry that I impatiently wrote what
I did, this morning. It was wrong and
I regret doing that. I hope the poster
will accept my sincere apology.
I started accepting this after I read "the Wife of Bath" and realized that women have often had to resort to unglamorous techniques to protect themselves and provide for their children, especially when in abusive relationships (or environments, as the WOB's time period was generally abusive to women).
Financially, women still seem to be under served. I could go into statistics.
Illene, I know you're not apologizing to me, but I know you understand the difficulty of leaving an abuser. Even though it is better if a victim leaves, sometimes they aren't able or ready to at the time, and I know you understand that.
Bella you are NOT a whore, not at all. You are very supportive and kind to others here. Please don't see yourself that way.
Take good care kind people and see you again soon. I won't take so darn long next time to log on. :)
Blessings for your healing,
Karasal :)
Having said that, NEVER apologize for trying to save someones life. Even if it it not received in the spirit in which it was intended.
For the record, I was in an abusive relationship for 18 years. Mine was very covert. In an overt or physical violence abusive situation, there is only one thing to do, "Run with your life" or "Risk it being taken".
Members of this community (all) have been touched by abuse in some way. We are all finding our own way and also helping others find their way as well.
Many times this is the only therapy some will ever get. Almost most of the time, this is the only place information can be shared to educate.
Ilene, You have helped so many with your experience and knowledge. I am one of them. I just wanted to say. You are human, you have feelings, and you are one of us. Sometimes we get it wrong. A lot of the times we get it right. We just take one day at a time. Help as many as we can, and leave the rest to our maker.
Kudos to all those here who take the time to reach out to others in light and love and who strive one sentence at a time to make a difference in the life of someone who is being abused. It takes an army who is led well by a strong leader to fight this war.
By my choice I follow the leader who steps up to the plate.
Just my 2 cents.
keep people stuck in abusive circumstances. """
Regrettably, we the abused are also very good at finding these reasons and using them as excuses to not leave. I used them myself as a reason to stay. I know the OP has had some bad experiences with shelters - I recall her most recent and found it offputting myself - however, we can only encourage her to keep trying. Staying is a downward spiral that can never be healthy. I know that by the time I left, I was suffering from major depression and my immunity had fallen so much that it was measurable in my poor thyroid function. I'm certain of what would eventually have happened to me if I'd stayed. Sometimes, we can no longer accept our reasons for staying and have no choice but to walk away and take whatever life decides to throw at us in our battle for independence.
Ilene, you have helped so many people in the years that you have been posting. I always envy your clear sight and wonderful communication skills. I also admire you for continuing to return here to help people no matter how busy life makes you. You are a wonderful role model for us all.
my words had offended someone. I
tried, as best as I could, to set right what
I'd carelessly kicked off course.
Since then, I've received many communications,
publically and privately, containing some gentle
truths which I need to keep in mind, in my posts,
vocal and written ----- and also much loving
support. I'm appreciative and grateful for
both. . . . both the gentle truths and the
loving support.
Pre-dating yesterday's post, I'd begun
putting a new strategy into place, when
interacting with just about anyone. It's
a strategy, to preface any kind of feedback
or suggestion(s) that I feel compelled to
share. I try to make sure I ask:
I have a thought about what you've told
me. Would you like to hear it?
This is a twist on what I've done before.
I don't always get it out. Generally, not
getting the question out is not a major
issue. Once in a while, like yesterday, it is.
Just about all the time for just about all of us,
it's good to remember that good, bad or ugly. . . .
most of us are just doing the best we can.
I hope the poster I offended has already
or will soon, find the tools and the wherewithall
to get to the best place for herself, a place of
safety, of being centered, feeling contentment
and joy.
You are so appreciated and valued to our community, always know that!
Leaving isn't easy, and can seem downright impossible, but staying isn't an option.
Leaving isn't easy, and can seem downright impossible, but staying isn't an option.
I hope this will in no way discourage you from continuing your awesome support and education here. You have obviously devoted your life to helping people in abusive situations, and I personally have benefitted from your wisdom on more than one occasion.
I don't think anyone could, in good consience, recommend that someone stay in a physically threatening situation.