Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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thequeen1r 11/17/2016

My Hubby and I agreed to let his 37 yr old son live with us a year ago. This was supposed to be a temporay stay, 3 months maximum.After 7 healthy years of marraige to this man, I discover some very unsettleing truths. He seems to be almost additcted to enabling his son to be dependent on him. This is scary enough but the bad news is that his son is really screwed up in the head, Genius, manipulitive, imature, and scheming. He has almost convinced my husband that all the things missing in the house, ive simply misplaced and dont remember. Ive talked to the son's ex and found out that he would delibratley move things around and hide them just to get back at some one if he was angry with them. Pretty soon, i realy will be crazy if I dont get some kind of intervention with this. The things he does to cause drama are unending. He cant handle sharing attention with the other kids so when there is a celebration he always creates some kind of blow up and im at the point that i dont even want company anymore.

h.e.a.l. 11/18/2016

I'm sorry for what you're
experiencing.

If your husband is
enabling his son's
abusive behavior
in the house in
which you live,
then your husband
is at best, neglecting
your needs. . . . and
neglect is a form of
abuse.

Living in this household
as it stands till bring you
untold suffering.

Go to your nearest
women's center and
make use of their
resources, starting
with counseling.

This IS a way out.

Sending you hugs
and wishes for
better times.

Laura90 11/18/2016

Just make your husband decide. You or him.

thequeen1r 11/19/2016

Thank you so much ladies,Yes I feel the same in that allowing the emotional abuse from his son is the same as if had done it himself, (I guess I did not mention that ) . In our so called family meetings, the discussion would turn into what a B...tch i am and my husband never stepped in for me. The kids is so self centered that he turns up the heat when he gets cold instead of putting on a sweatshirt, no-one else matters to him. My husband feels I should let it all slide off my back, let it go. This would be easy if I could express how I feel with out the son becoming totally Irate or going into one of his passive aggressive pouts that last for 3 days. I had a tool that I use for my Business, I asked him very nicely to ask me when he wants to use it so that I always knew where it was. He pouted about that that for 3 days. I know it seems like im rambling but this is therapeutic to me to at least write it down. Please dont get bored my rambling, i really need the outside contact and the moral support from SOMEONE. Thank you so much!

thequeen1r 11/19/2016

I failed to mention that I feel I cant leave because I have 1000s of lbs of merchandise amd 1000s of dollars tied up in it. I need this space to work also.

h.e.a.l. 11/19/2016

Is it possible to
rent storage space
for your inventory?

Thesunwillcomeouttomorrow 11/19/2016

I am so sorry you are being abused. I'm afraid you'll find that negotiating, having civil, healthy, rational conversations with an abuser is unlikely to work. I'm afraid the only thing you'll find that truly works for more than a week or so, and the only thing that protects your psyche is disconnection, him leaving, you leaving, total separation. It may take planning and great bravery, but you could accomplish that.

thequeen1r 11/21/2016

Yes to Heat, I could but I would stil need a place to do the sewing. but I will be thinking about what may w9ork. Right now I cant even concentrate to work, I tried but made so many mistakes that it took an extra 3 hour to fix them.

thequeen1r 11/21/2016

I Do feel the same way, I need a total disconnect.

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