Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
We plan on telling our kids that we are getting divorced on Monday after the mediation. We wanted to wait until our son got out of school for the summer, today is his last day.
Our son is 8, will be 9 on Thursday (he is a very sweet and sensitive kid), our daughter is 3, who acts like she is 23 lol (very loving and dramatic, lol).
Do we tell the kids at the same time? What can I expect their reactions to be and is there a good way to handle how they respond?
I know it needs to be age appropriate, not too much information, no pointing fingers, and I know that we need to be civil and re-assure them that no matter what they are loved and will always be taken care of. Beyond that I have no idea and I am so worried about them.
Any advice that has helped or you think will help?
Biting my nails right now....... I just want to get it over with so I don't have all the anxiety about it.
Our son is 8, will be 9 on Thursday (he is a very sweet and sensitive kid), our daughter is 3, who acts like she is 23 lol (very loving and dramatic, lol).
Do we tell the kids at the same time? What can I expect their reactions to be and is there a good way to handle how they respond?
I know it needs to be age appropriate, not too much information, no pointing fingers, and I know that we need to be civil and re-assure them that no matter what they are loved and will always be taken care of. Beyond that I have no idea and I am so worried about them.
Any advice that has helped or you think will help?
Biting my nails right now....... I just want to get it over with so I don't have all the anxiety about it.
It's not unusual for kids to blame themselves, so its really important to make sure you reassure them its not them, not just when you tell them, either. Be accepting of whatever they say. Look for them to possibly act out their feelings. This is normal.
Try not to bad mouth their dad, stand in your truth. But don't down play the abuse either, if it comes up. Always take the high road. It might not seem like it at the time, but it will pay off. As I said, kids are smarter and more aware than we give them credit for and they know more about what's going on than most of us realize.
Allow them to ask questions & give them honest simple answers. I urge you to get them into counseling to help heal the trauma they witnessed and to help them process their feelings about the divorce.
Sending you big hugs of support & compassion.