Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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freedomatlonglast 02/24/2013

Hi All!

I have been reading through the recent posts, and I noticed that a lot of us are feeling triggered and having a hard time maintaining NC.

Perhaps it would be helpful if we shared what helps us when we are feeling tempted.

I like to...

Read

Take my dog for a walk in the woods

Work (anything to distract me! LOL!)

Visit Friends

Cook

Take long, hot baths

Try new lotions on my skin, especially oils... There is something so soothing about massaging it in, it is just like getting a massage but free!!

Do my nails, try new hairstyles, ect.

So now it is your turn, what works best for you? :)

IleneW 02/24/2013

Consider giving

Ilene's Clarifying Index Card exercise

a try.

It's not the main reason
why I created the exercise
but it's one of the situations
in which it's been found
to be extremely valuable.

My second suggestion
is to focus on doing
whatever it is that
NOURISHES
and
NURTURES
you, personally.

That's individual for
each of us, so knowing
what those are, are also
individual to each of us.

Find out what those
are and then
DO THEM.

As we grow up
we all learn to
not cross the street in traffic,
not touch a hot stove,
not grab a knife by the blade,
not have sex with someone
we know carries an STD
and not drink bleach
or eat rat poison.

We don't do these things
because we understand
that they will damage us,
possisbly kill us.

Being with someone who
has abused us can be
tougher than the things
I listed,

but if we focus on the fact
that an abuser is toxic
(that's where the Clarifying
Index Card exercise comes
in), then we may be able to
stay away from him or her
until our own emotional
immune system is strong
enough to keep us away
on its own!

Sending you hugs
and healing wishes.

TAKE GOOD CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

radrm 02/24/2013

Today I find it so hard not to keep thinking of the injustice of it all. How I was hurt and how he always gets away with what he does and all those around him smell roses. He really is an asshole. they just dont get treated that way by him. I know his ex wife did and probalby any other woman he was ever with but not the others. They all get the good treatment and respect and kindness and think he is Mr nice guy. Its so wrong. They make me sick for believing his act. The whole bunch of them. I am so angry since yesterday. Im thining too much about it.

beansprout 02/24/2013

The index card exercise, walks, reading, exercise, coming onto DS. I also made sure I had deleted all his contact details and blocked his numbers, email addresses etc. I changed my own details so that there was a lot to lose if I did contact him. Being on here helped most though. Just coming on and chatting to someone, Journaling and posting until I felt better made it easier. Eventually though, the urge
left me, so it's just a matter of holding on, you will get there

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