In my personal opinion and based on my training, absolutely yes it does. Addiction is NOT an excuse for abuse.

We all always have at least two choices - do it or don't, yes or no. We might not like the options, but there are always at least two. At some point an addict may reach the 'point of no return' where choosing not to use (their drug of choice) or not to abuse becomes more difficult.

BUT you have to remember that they CHOOSE the addiction and the actions in the first place.

Addiction is rooted in denial and shame based. That's a pretty emotionally deadly combination in terms of getting help. That doesn't mean addicts don't have a choice or can't get help. They can still choose to whether to get help or not. But the longer they don't, the harder it is. Still, that's NO EXCUSE for their behavior.

Something interesting I learned during intervention training is that the addiction is only 10% of the problem. BEHAVIOR is 90% of the problem. UNTIL the 10% is stopped completely and forever, there's no hope of the 90% being successfully addressed.

And people can have addictive behavior w/o actually having the addiction (for ex. using alcohol or mind altering drugs).

Here's an analogy that might help.

You're the first mate on cruise ship sailing around the world. This trip will take years. It's a beautiful ship with the promise the cruise of a lifetime. Everything is wonderful except you keep hearing these strange little 'noises.' You ignore the 'noise' for a while, then you bring it to the captain's attention. He blows you off and says its your imagination.

Then you think you see that the ship might be listing just a little. So you tell the captain. Again, the captain tells you you're imagining it.

The noises and the listing are ever so slight, but they persist off and on. Again, you talk to the captain who assures you everything is wonderful and it's all your imagination. He might even mention that you're just overly sensitive.

Time goes on and you keep hearing these 'noises.' the creaks and groans begin to intensify. The ship feels like it's leaning to one side more than when you first noticed it. So you talk to the captain again nd he assures you it's your imagination. He admonishes you for being such a worrier and tells you you're crazy.

This goes on for months and then years. Eventually one of two things happen.

1. The ship sinks with you on it and you die (literally or figuratively).

or

2. At some point you can see that the ship is in fact actually sinking and that it is not your imagination. It's been slow, but you see with your own eyes that the waterline on the hull is much higher that it used to be.

As first mate you know maritime law says that the captain is responsible for the safety of the crew and passengers. You know he should be having everyone abandon ship. And that he cannot leave the ship until that has been accomplished. After he gets everyone off safely, he has the choice of getting off too or going down with the ship.

You know if you don't do something everyone is going to go down with the ship and die. That's because the captain is doing nothing to make sure everyone is safe. He refuses to have them abandon ship.

As first mate, you ALWAYS have the choice to decide that the cruise of a life time is not worth even one person loosing their life for. You also have the choice to realize that the captain is in total denial. And, you have the choice to decide whether you are willing to continue to risk your physical mental emotional and spiritual safety, and literally your very life by staying on this sinking ship.

That ship isn't the Titanic, it's the USS Addiction (or the USS Abuse). And it WILL sink.

What will you do?

Thanks for that MTC, I found that both informative and enlightening. Now MTC can you tell me a relative story perhaps about addicted cutters and why they are.

I am sorry, but I am not an expert in cutting. I will share what little I know. It is my understanding that, generally speaking, cutting is a way some people use to temporarily feel better. Just like using drugs or alcohol or other addictions, it's only an illusion of feeling better. Some cutters think they are releasing the hurt, pain and/or trauma, but they really aren't.

Cutting is a distraction - a way to NOT deal with or feel their feelings.

As I said earlier, addiction (IMHO) is rooted in shame and denial. That that creates a vicious cycle. The addict uses in order to feel better temporarily. Somewhere, deep down, they know that its not helping, but they feel ashamed. They are ashamed of what originally happened (i.e. the trauma, hurt, etc.) even tho its more than likely not their fault; and ashamed that they used or cut in order to avoid their feelings.

My guess is that even they don't know, or are in denial of, the original source/reason for the avoidant behavior.

IMHO, the keys to the addict (regardless of what they addicted to) getting better are:

Openness to the idea they need help
Awareness of their own denial (even if comes and goes)
Willingness to face their pain, feelings, trauma, etc.
Desire to get help
A qualified therapist with additional training in addictions and trauma recovery who is certified in several modalities such as hypnotherapy, EMDR, EFT, etc.

I believe addicts are deeply wounded people and they may also have other personality disorders to varying extents. For example, many alcoholics are narcissists.

I wish I could tell you more, but that's all I really know about the subject of cutting as an addiction.

If you are looking for reasons why someone you know does this, chances are they don't know. Many of us look for logical rational reasons why people do what they do. Unfortunately, when it comes to addictions and personality disorders, there are rarely logical or rational explanations.

I encourage you to focus on you by practicing extreme self-care and know that you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.

I wonder, do addictions eventually go beyond the point whereby they can be cured?

You are a very knowledgeable person MTC, and I am in awe of you.

My grandfather was an alcoholic, and when drunk he was a very nasty person, is this the type of behavior that is consistent with narcissism?

I dont think addictions can go beyond a point where they can be cured. All beings are intelligent enough to sort it out. It's up to that person who has the addiction to realise if they're gunna fight the addiction then they are going to have to face the pain, the pain they will experience when they take away the addiction, and have to deal with the underlying truths of the addiction.

An addiction isn't something that's outside of us, that comes and affects us like a cold. An addiction is a tool that someone uses to avoid something, something they'd rather not experience or be truthful to themselves about. An addiction is a tool that someone uses to escape things that are going on in their life, or some sort of abuse they can't handle.

I'd say it's true though that some people are more susceptible to addictions than others, addiction can be a disease, but it's still all treatable.

Although if you come from a family of addicts, and your a child of addictive behaviours the traits of negative addictions will be harder to realise and treat, as you will think the addictive behaviours are normal.

Interesting PatternSkies, my ex is an addict in a couple of ways, and so too is her father of the same kinds, like father like daughter it seems, and interestingly, so too is her sister.

Thank you for your input, I have found it also to be insightful and useful.