Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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radrm 01/08/2013

I am so upset. In my housing area we have wooden fences and two times I actually saw the nieghbor behind me from my backyard kicking down the fence. This is a big deal for me because I have two dogs. So I had to go buy all the wood and fix the fence myself because when I asked him to help me he said its not his fence its mine. All my other neighbors and I go half and both buy the material and fix the fences and its the same thing. But he wants a brick wall and he wanted me to pay for it. Had the nerve to knock on my door asking for $2000 dollars and I told him no i do not have money I live in disability and can not afford to buy you a brick wall. So now I have fixed more than 3/4's of the whole length of fence and last night he did it again. He pulled down a whole section (one I hadn't replaced yet) from the top down into his yard. It would be impossible to just fall. I know he did it. So my son and I had to go fix it after I got home today. I am so mad. I want to make a complaint with the City here to see if I can do something about him. I have pics too and he also put hot coals from his bbq from his side onto the bottom of the fence I think he was trying to catch it on fire. I am so angry and my son is so angry if he wasn't on his meds I dont think I could have controlled him and it scares me too. I am mad but I feel better than him because I am half crippled and I got up there and cut 2x4's and fixed the damn thing in an hour but he is a 30 some year old man who supposedly works construction but he wont help me fix the fence! What a wimp!!! I sort of yelled some things of that sort while I was fixing it too! I said I would be embarassed to have him for my husband if I was that lady! Well I am going to try to call the city and file a compliant and tell them about him putting bbq fire and that he could kill somone if he starts a fire like that! He's such an idiot. So if anyone has suggestions on what i could do that I dont know about please help!

gem111 01/08/2013

I am so sorry you have to deal with someone like that.
You know, what pops in my mind is I know at least where I live, you can purchase, not to expensive, a wildlife or security camera.
I wouldn't say another word to him and I would set up a camera, one that operates by movement and it starts recording. After I got pictures, I would immediately take it to the cops and sue the guy for a new fence at the same time.

Actually about 20 years ago the cops brought me a security camera, set it up for me and we caught the guy that was stealing.
The really funny part of the whole thing was it was a stranger to where I live. The cop had taken the tape back to the Sheriff and they were showing the tape to all the Deputies to see if any of them knew the guy, when one of the cops said; "Oh my god, that is my brother in law" needless to say, they got him.

Good luck rad, I really don't like sneaky people that do stuff like that. I sure hope you get him. Either that or if you can catch him again a photo would be just as good if you could get a picture.
Sending tons of support and hugs!!!

radrm 01/08/2013

thanks Gem I can't believe this guy and you know what else happened to me today? Man my water heater broke right aftter that and I got all dirty fixing the fence cutting wood and sweating to put it up and then my son tells me hey mom why isn't there any hot water? I was like oh nooooooooo!!!!!! I wonder how much a security camera that operates by movment costs? I'm going to look that up online. YOu knonw I heard it happen and my little dog barked and we went out back with a flashlight and I told my son man he could come in our backyard and I wonder if he did!! Then I thought what if he would steal something because i have my lawnmower and tools in a shed back there. So maybe I will try to get one of those cameras. So anyhow Im dirty now put on my pajamas and yuck!! I hope i sleep ok.

mildred71 01/09/2013

I do not have any advice about this,

but I want you to know,

I will pray for you.

I wish you a healthy, functional, and peaceful home.

If he wants to tear down fences, then remember,

that this is HIS Karma, not yours.

deleted_user 01/09/2013

Rad...the world has gone mad. Can't say much more then that. But what I would do it put my two BIG pitbulls on a long chain in the back yard and that would take care of that! Even if they are pussycats..their bark doesn't sound like a meeow

deleted_user 01/09/2013

Do you call the cops everytime he does that? I hope you do...You could also take him to small claims court, where you can sue up to$25,000.

I actually moved because of bad neighbors, the last one turned on her rap from 12pm to 8pm...I called the cops, they did nothing....The neighbor before was abusive (same apt, new neighbors)....It got to be too much to handle, fortunately, we moved. Good Luck.

Tamehau 01/09/2013

After being stalked and harassed by a neighbor, I wish I had started my complaining and documenting early. In my trying to be so nice he ended up HAVING ME ARRESTED. He did not have to prove my guilt. I HAD TO PROVE MY Inocence. Thankfully I had video and pictures and receipts. Keep a journal about it to. DOCUMENTATION IS THE THING THAT HOLDS UP IN COURT. Because I had it, all my charge were dropped. We sold our house and moved out without him ever knowing we were gone.

deleted_user 01/09/2013

Maybe you can put a hidden camera outside and videotape him destroying your property. Then when you have that proof you can press charges. If you can't afford an actual video camera you could buy a sign that indicates that your property is being surveilled, a sign with a picture of a video camera on it that states under surveillance. That may at least discourage him. if your neighbors have seen him doing this then they are witnesses. Hopefully they would be willing to tell the police what they saw and that would be enough for you to press charges.

rachelrachel 01/09/2013

and I would take pictures EVERY single time, of the fence down, you guys rebuilding, and the fence re-fixed, with dates..

and keep EVERY receipt that you spend on wood, etc..

and it will all match up-no one has their fence just fall down over and over like that.

good luck on this. I hope you are able to do the hunting camera thing..

then, call the police when you have the footage, and you'll be able to show pictures and receipts, and everything..

what a goof!!!

radrm 01/11/2013

Thanks for all the good suggestions I am going to document, save reciepts, and next payday get a survailance camera if I can afford it. If nothing else I will take pics, document, save receipts and take him to small claims court. I thought of go buy all the 2 x 4's and screws and then take them back the next day to have reciepts I didnt keep in the past. I dont know if that would work. I dont have past reciepts. Darn it!! but from now on I will. What gets me is he is a strong young man and I am a disabled not old but getting there woman and he does that to me? What has this world come to? What a jerk.

Livndadrem 01/12/2013

Don't try to fake the receipts. You are likely to get caught out and the whole thing thrown out. Keep receipts from now on, see if you can remember/estimate what you spent in the past, and if it goes to court just be honest about the fact you didn't keep the past receipts because you weren't planning on taking him to court.

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