My brother and I only have an age difference of 2 years. So growing up we always played together, did most things together, watched cartoons, shared toys, had mutual ferinds.  We were happy kids growing up. My parents, are decent hardworking people, the were not born well off but have managed to do pretty well. My mother was an excellent student at school, she excelled and thus is the primary breadwinner for our family, it because of her generous salary we are able to have this lifestyle (I would call it slightly upper class). My father on the other hand had 9 siblings so he had to wok to support his family since he was 17, he got a low paying government job and stuck to it, government jobs in my country(3rd world country) dont pay very well, and you get transferred around a lot. My dad never really studied properly, I don't know if he has a university degree, I've never seen it. When asked he says he has a degree in political science, I've never seen it but the lack of my father's education is a taboo subject we don't really talk about it. From the begining my parents marriage was a mismatch (it was an arranged marriage). Often arguments would get too heated. My dad would hit my mother, I have very vivid memories of crying on the bed while my dad beat my mother. But again, it's not all black and white. My dad is also pretty amazing, he wold come back from work and make dinner, he played with us. He is in no way a bad father at all. He never shied away from cooking and helping around the house when my mother was working long shifts. My mother is also harsh with words, she's not perfect either, to her she married into the wrong family. It is not a woman's job to earn but she hasd to because my dad couldn't earn enough to support us at all. Plus my dad's sisters and his mother were cruel to my mother they emotionally abused her and threatened her and kicked her out of the house while my dad did not say anything to them. But he moved out with my mother, but not once did he say anything to my grandmother or anyone. 

Moving on, since my dad came from a family where the men worked and women were at home and cooked and cleaned. I guess he expected my mother to do that on weekends. Which infuriated my mother because she wanted to rest after a long week of work. She'd get home at 7 or 8 while my dad would come home at 3,4 or 5.and on the weekends my dad wouldn't help in the kitchen so my mom had to cook.

Anyways, it's hard to explain but dad never gives my mom enough credit for earning so much and supporting us all and she still uses harsh words and profanities and usually fights about little things. My dad is usually calmer than my mother. He doesn't get infuriated about little things. But when he does get angry he can get physically hurt and say hurtful stuff to my mother 'You're a woman, you do nothing for your kids. You just come back from work and sleep or watch TV. You're of no use.' My dad is sometimes very patriarchal and sexist. My mother is not very different,to her working wasnt something she should do and constantly reminds us how working has sucked the life out of her, how she's sick all the time because of work stress, about how she works all day for us. Ive heard that constantly since perhaps the day I was born about how much my mother has sacrificed for me. To her other housewives the same age as her  look young and fresh because they sleep all day whIle she looks twice their age because she works. 

Moving onto my brother, he picked up a lot of my father's qualities and amplified them by a hundred thousand. And he is emotionally abusive towards me. Even though he is younger than me, he's taller than me and obviously stronger as he is a guy and I'm a girl. He can raise is voice at me and that is enough to make me cower in fear. He constantly accuses me of talking to boys ( note: Im Muslim living in a 3rd world country) and having multiple boyfriends ( I've gone to Co ed schools my entire life and so has he). He calls me different names, constantly slut shames me, makes fun of degree (I'm studying to become a lawyer, my parents wanted me to become a doctor), says I'm a embarrassment to my family (even though I've gotten better grades than him my entire life), says I'll run away from home because I dont care about my parents, he is not afraid of hitting me. My parents know all this is happening he does this in front of them, they domt stop him. I've confronted them numerous times about it. According to my mother she has no respect in this house so she can't get me any. When he is verbally abusing me my parents make half hearted attempts to make him stop. But he doesn't listen. Moreover, he has no social life at all. He is 18 years of age, he doesn't go out with friends and will constantly meddle in my life asking me who I'm talking to what I'm doing, he basically doesn't have a life of his own. This emotional abuse is getting worse day by day. Plus I have amother brother who is 9 and I love him dearly but my 18 year old brother has managed to turn him into a miniature version of himself. My 9 year old brother talks to me the same way, calls me the same names. Today my 18 yeat old brother was telling him how big of a slut I am because I had a boyfriend in the 8th grade.