Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
My sister is being verbally abused and has a plan to leave her husband, but not for another 2 years. She is finding that she resents any time her husband does anything fun...and he plays softball, laughs,etc. She has made it her mission to make sure that she makes him as miserable as he has made her. She has totally withdrawn from him and only interacts when she has to. She feels bitter and angry when he goes about his life, overlooking her pain, and enjoys his life.
Is this a way to cope?
Is this a way to cope?
deleted_user
I think your sister will be making a mistake. It will not make her feel any better in the end. It also might lead to her husband to retaliate, and it will lead to escalation on both sides from there. Also, how will she feel about herself to stooping to his level? I don't see any good could come of it.
deleted_user
If you can get your sister out of that situation it would be better she will just become a bitter and unhappy person. It is not healthy to stay in any kind of a abusive situation and now it seems she is making it her goal to make his life miserable. there is another way to do that and it does not turn you into a unhappy person. get him where he will know he has been gotten go for high support, alimonoy and lots of other legal ways to make him pay that leave one feeling a lot better than turning oneself into a bitter unhappy person. If she stays and carries out this make his life miserable she will never be able to really get over it and will not be able to find happiness for she will have programmed herself into this habit and it will be hard to change that bad habit. tell get out and make him pay through the pocketbook and pay hard. nail him for as much alimony and support as she can get. and If she can not afford an attorney who will take him to the cleaners let me know I will help her.
queenvalerie
In reality, yes. Her withdrawl from him is a coping mechanism. The problem is that the abuse will probably escalate as he tires of it. Cibolo is right. He will retaliate eventually when he feels he is no longer getting the power and control he needs from her. I understand that we all need time to plan our escapes, but there has got to be some way to get her out of the house sooner than 2 years down the road.
deleted_user
I think that if your sister uses that much energy on making him miserable she is still letting him have control. She needs to go the legal route because nothing she does will even the score and she will have wasted so much time and negative energy which is bad for her health. Talk to her if you can and send her on a mission of happiness for herself, harnass that energy for positive actions for her to be happy and start a new life and leave the negative behind. God Bless you
deleted_user
I think the saddest thing here is that she will be losing another couple of years to abuse as she continues to let him dictate how she runs her life. I also would worry about things getting worse between them and maybe moving into another type of abuse.
deleted_user
I am wondering what she would say herself about this. How does she see it and how is it for her? I don't feel confident I know this.
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