There's a lot of support floating around in the world. A good therapist is usually worth their weight in gold and beyond. I experienced emotional abuse in childhood as well and it affected every aspect of my life as an adult because I wasn't even aware that the way my mother treated me was abusive. I was 30 before I knew.....and 40 before I realized that it was the cause of my depression, anxiety, and lack of emotional development.

I've read a lot. I treat my depression with medication because I need to in order to be able to think clearly. I have a therapist that is really good. And I am a part of this forum. I also have a very supportive fiance who has stood by me from the moment we met and helps me process things. Usually, healing requires several approaches, not just one specific thing. And healing takes time and effort. It's not a straight line....it zig zags all over the place.

my abuse also was in my childhood. there is alot of support in this group , not just for adults in abusive relationships. There used to be a group here just for childhood abuse but i dont know what happened to it. Healing is a long road. that i know for sure. and probably never ends. Im 42 and havent even begun to get into all this issues relating to my abuse. It honestly scares me to dive into it and all the emotions that have been buried for years. Supprortive friends help, counseling, books on the topic but its a journey. like jilliebean said its a zig zag journey . How i wish was a magic pill to make everything better. but there isnt.

The thing that has hurt me and damaged me most in my life is being abandoned by my parents. My father left my mom when I was 15. I saw him 3 times since then. But I think now that was a good thing.

He was never there emotionally anyway and I remembered that he had molested me as a child but I blocked it out. My mother wasn't there when I needed someone the most and she didn't even seem to care at all. She hurt me so much. It's a long story.

I rarely even talk about it that much. But it really is the root of how I've become over the years. I had this horribly ingrained belief that no one was there, no one cared, I was completely alone in the world.

I was hurt and totally abandoned by the people that were supposed to care for and love me the most. I fell into a terrible depression as a teen and quit school and spent years isolating myself and crying all the time.

I turned to alcohol and drugs and hung around that crowd but never ever let anyone know me or get close. I pushed people and relationships away for many years. I believed I was unworthy of love. I was a bad and shamedful person. I had no right to feel sad, or hurt, or angry.

Nobody cared, nobody understood. I was so afraid of being rejected or abandoned by people I couldn't even make friends really. Or I would befriend people that couldn't or wouldn't really care about me.

People who would only reinforce my belief that I can't trust anyone. I was afraid to get close to someone kind and caring and who would be there for fear of them abandoning me. I still am.

I still have a hard time believing I deserve or can keep a decent guy with real feelings who would really care for me. I felt my brokenness was ugly and would turn people off.

I finally got to the point where I would try and get close to someone and have a relationship for once in my life and I was in my late 30's. And this is how it turned out for me.

I'm trying to now recover from the recent finalbreakup with a extremely abusive and manipulative guy that I only tried to trust and love and be loved by.

I have learned alot in my journey of self-reflection over the past five years. Now I think it's time for me to put into use what I've learned. It's not my fault. I am a good person. I can trust myself and my judgement.

There are good and caring people in the world who wouldn't abandon me and who would be there and understand. I am worthy.

There is a support group on here (daily strength) for the parent issue too!
I also ended up seeking out abusive relationships because of the fact that I thought it was normal, because that was my childhood. I ddin't know what normal was, how to get a normal relationship or how to be in one. I am still learning.
Therapy helps a lot, there are lots of books available to help as well.
It has taken me years to recognize that my childhood was a form of abuse, I thought there was something wrong with me. But I did recognize that the people (parents, family and freinds) in my life caused me pain, and so I isolated myself from them to allow me to fix myself, in doing so, I got the space to realize I wasn't defective, I was a victim. Now I am on the road to healing from that core issue, childhood abuse.
Best of luck on your healing journey, feel free to message me if you want some resources (books, webpages, etc) to get you started!

@ countrywoman. what is the other support group called. I have looked under several names and cna't find anything??