Sadly there is an enormous amount of abuse depicted in the media that is normalized, downplayed and or made to look trivial. Misandry in the media is a prime example of how messed up and normalized abuse can become in the media.

When you step back and look at the whole picture it is a bit frightening how much is done in the media to make abuse not seem as bad as it really is.

That just turns my stomach, especially after reading SleepyWalrus's post. This world is definitely going to hell in a hand basket. Or maybe it's already there! Hugs GB

I almost think it is too late now. Kids should be brought up with respect and lots of kudo's for good behavior, but some of the kids I see from the time they are born are treated like kings and queens, where the world revolves around their very existence.
I believe a lot of kids are brought up to be narcissistic and only think of themselves.They get anything their little hearts desire and if something is missing all they have to do is throw a giant tantrum and they get what they want.
I do love kids, but the competition between the parents to see who can give the most gifts to their kids is kind of getting me down. They can spend thousands of dollars on their kids and of course there is always something missing that the child wants.
Thank goodness my kids are older and wasn't a part of this. They did get gifts, but also know they have to work to earn the best things in life.
I agree that the media is no help at all.
I guess this was sort of a rant--sorry!!!

Oh wow do I agree with you gem111 !! People no longer discipline ( i don't mean hitting just good discipline) and these kids are being ruined. Some of the things I see when I am out are outrageous! I hear little girls calling their Mother a bitch and demanding what it is she wants. I see children disrespect their parents with no consequence and it is ruining these kids work ethics, education, and lives later on. I don't know what happened to society either! Kids today (most kids) are spoiled rotten and that is this countries future! Scary!

I've noticed that even shows that are supposed to be about strong women have a thread of male chauvinism running through them. Ever seen old episodes of l&o svu? The way they had Olivia's partner treating her, playing with her heart to control her? I stopped watching it until he was gone. I watch tv to escape life not relive it.

All of what you have said is true, the world is a nasty place, it always has been but there is so much good to remember as well.

Everything has pretty much been downhill since Adam took that apple from Eve :)

History is chock full of horrors. Some things get better, some things get worse, we just have to be our best no matter what the outside environment is. This is and always has been the challenge.

Dont let it get you down, suit up and be the change you want to see in the world.

Its hard for me not to get sickened by it all, but in some small way, it makes me feel a little better about myself that I know those things are wrong and to also know that everyone makes mistakes, not just me.

Also some of the worst crap that happens to us makes us stronger. Not that I condone the crap that happens.

Im a fan of Phantom of the Opera (still am) and I never realized he is a narcissist and it was a good thing he didnt get the girl. Granted I kind of knew all along but I dont like him as much now.

*Dont be offended if you are a fan and see it differently. There are points on both sides of that argument and being fiction its really up to interpretation.

Right now I am watching a show and there have been people complaining that the main character is abusive and others that are outraged that anyone would say that. Im not here to debate it (thus I didnt mention the name of the show) its just interesting to me that so many viewers do not see the abuse. Societal issue? Is that how so many abusers get away with it?

That's a major contributing factor to how so many abusers get away with what they do. Their actions have been so normalized by society that many/most people don't register what they see as abuse (even if the same actions are routinely denounced as abuse by much of society, including many of those same people).

Look at the misandry example I mentioned before. Ever notice how many things women do and say to men on TV, in movies or in real life are laughed at and seen as acceptable, but if the roles were reversed people would be outraged and call it abuse? Examples of this would include:
- Women slapping/hitting or throwing things at men when angry at them and most people laughing at this and acting as though it were perfectly acceptable. When the roles are reversed and it is the man who is hitting/slapping/throwing people suddenly start viewing it as the abuse it is.
- When a man is verbally abusive to a woman (i.e.: belittles, berates, insults, etc) he is viewed as abusive/mean and a jerk. If a woman does the same to a man it is usually viewed as being humorous or somehow justified.

There have even been social experiments conducted to study this very issue. In one experiment (it was secretly filmed and the video is available online with some of the articles about it) actors were hired to play the roles of fighting couples in a public park. One set of actors played the roles of an abusive male partner with the woman being the submissive victim. The other set of actors played the roles of an abusive female partner with the man being the submissive victim. In both cases I think the played out scenario starts out with verbal abuse and then escalated to physical abuse.

In the scenario where the man was the abuser many of the bystanders quickly jumped in and tried to defend the victim. They chastized the male abuser and some threatened to call the cops on him.

In the scenario where the woman was the abuser none of the bystanders ever attempted to defend the male victim. Bystanders actually gathered to watch and cheer on the female abuser while insulting/ridiculing the victim (even when the abuse escalated to being physical).


As you can probably guess this phenomena isn't limited to romantic relationships. It also occurs in other settings that are similarly normalized by the media. This includes jocks in school abusing non-athletic kids, or rich/popular individuals getting away with abusing average people. Another example would be hazing.

Notice how in each of these examples the behavior is regularly denounced as abuse/bullying/wrong, yet it is still normalized bybthe media and occurs rampantly. Often with little or reduced consequences for the abuser due to things like status.

Yes and often people do not believe men can be abused in relationship either.