it sounds like you are making excuses for them in that they didn't know better. I often try and justify how my parents treated me and it resulted from a cycle where they were treated the same but they could have chosen to break that cycle like I have done.

I have been in therapy for a few years now and I feel the abuse has been embedded into me which is who I am and seems to attract the
sort of people to me who carry on the abuse. I also treat myself badly sort of taking over from them when others aren't doing it

Hello Reed ----

I was abused at a young age.

I didn't develop DID but escaped into books and fantasy and playing roles on stage.

Not knowing better doesn't mean that the abuse someone perpetrates relieves them of accountability for doing it.

Killing our emotions is perhaps the biggest, un-recognized injury of being emotionally abused.

Are you currently in any kind of therapy? Therapy, besides being necessary for DID, should be able to help you recover healthy access to your emotions.

If you're not already connected with a clinician, please make sure you find one. Okay?

Please keep writing here. We understand.

Ilene

Reed, June is so right. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that whether they knew better or not, your parents were abusive. Even if they learned it from their parents or their culture, or something disastrous happened to them, they are responsible for taking care of you and your wellbeing. That's what good parents do.

My father was extremely emotionally and also physically abusive toward me until I left home at 16. I never told anyone because I figured I deserved it, I was embarrassed, I didn't know better, and I defended him because I thought, well, he's been abused, his mother died when he was 3 and so on. At the end of the day, the person who is abusive toward you is responsible for their actions. And you are responsible for taking care of yourself the best you can given what you've been through. You are not alone. Coming to terms is hard, but you can do it!

I have and continued to be abused by my stepfather. Unfortunately I am so sick because of an kidney disease and I am unable to work so I have to continue to live with him and my mother. I don't care what people say if they abused you then they knew what they were doing. I find the victim always try to make excuses for the abusers. DO NOT DO THIS!! They try to make you feel guilty for their wrong doing. I have not been affected mentally but I believe my sister has, and that is a dangerous situation. If you feel like you have been mentally disturbed please get help. I hope you do well.