Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
At work, trying to keep the tears at bay and its hard. My ex sister in law just called with news that my ex mother in law (whom I was very close to) just passed away this morning. She did this out of love for me as my ex husband would probably not have even let me know. He holds a lot of resentment, hatred and bitterness towards me, some of which I deserve I suppose.
His family however does not and we have stayed in touch. I have always been close with them and have tried to help them financially, to which they would not let me. His parents recently invited me to their 50th wedding anniversary to which I declined out of respect to my ex husband. Now I regret that decision as I did not get to see her one last time.
I have such guilt..over not being there more. I lived there with them for 8 years and they were like parents to me. They are simply the most kind, generous, selfless people and because I didn't hold my marriage together, I lost them and now her, for good.
I now have lost both my Moms...
Cindy (my ex sis in law) said she would notify me of the funeral arrangements, and in all fairness, my ex came to my Moms after our divorce, so he can't expect me to stay away, but I don't know what is fair.
I have no hatred of my ex and I love his family.
God this is so hard and I am so overwhelmed.
His family however does not and we have stayed in touch. I have always been close with them and have tried to help them financially, to which they would not let me. His parents recently invited me to their 50th wedding anniversary to which I declined out of respect to my ex husband. Now I regret that decision as I did not get to see her one last time.
I have such guilt..over not being there more. I lived there with them for 8 years and they were like parents to me. They are simply the most kind, generous, selfless people and because I didn't hold my marriage together, I lost them and now her, for good.
I now have lost both my Moms...
Cindy (my ex sis in law) said she would notify me of the funeral arrangements, and in all fairness, my ex came to my Moms after our divorce, so he can't expect me to stay away, but I don't know what is fair.
I have no hatred of my ex and I love his family.
God this is so hard and I am so overwhelmed.
True family is bonded by respect and joy in each others lives, not by blood or marriage.
You wrote:
because I didn't hold my marriage together, I lost them
No, sweetie.
You've lost your in-laws
because an abuser
broke his marriage vows
and violated the
marriage contract.
I'm so sorry you're overwhelmed
and in such pain.
Losing your in-laws
is NOT YOUR FAULT.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
healing and
better days.
If this lady and her husband were like parents to you, then I feel sure she knew how much you adored her, as it sounds like she did you. And it so was not your fault. If anything, I feel nice for her that she did have a DIL like you in her life and that you guys had the relationship you had, for that time. You made her life better too.
Take care of yourself xxx
I hope you can find comfort somehow during these hard times.
It is fair to pay your respects if you wish and the family is ok with that. I worry about you seeing your ex.
When i was in the trauma program, we were taught to use techniqes that would help when things became overwhelming. I hope that you can find some things to help you through. please message me if u want to talk or i can look through my book and see what things there are to keep calm. hugs my friend.
I had planned to write a poem for her today but was sick with nerves and migraine. I did good to take care of chores around here.
I will try to avoid my ex husband so as to not cause him any stress.
I thought I would help the family with a money donation instead of flowers.
I am scared to go but I need to.
I have really been feeling such guilt over not going to the anniversary party, though I did explain to my ex MIL why and our last phone conversation in June was about how she hated that he made it so I could not come around.
Thank you all for your support.