Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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abandoned

mildred71
mildred71
For one year, my ex-boyfriend emotionally and verbally abused me. He was conceited and arrogant, and loved to find fault with everything about me! Then one day he told me that I needed to dress more sexy to compete with other women for his attention.
After that, things went downhill. He sent me a letter saying that we were incompatible. He told me that he wanted to start dating other women. He actually did start dating lots of other women. He refused to answer or return any of my phone calls. I have not seen or talked to him since September. I know that he was not good for me, yet it still hurts that he abandoned me...how do I move on?
wvartgirl
wvartgirl
You gotta put that man out of your mind. Every time he comes up in your head, do your best to change the channel and to think of other things. I know just how you feel, but if you really think about the ex-bf, if he doesn't love you for whom you are he is not worth your time. You deserve to be loved kindly, unconditionally and consistently. Hugs to you, hon, because I know just how you feel.
IleneW
IleneW
Replace with with loving for and caring for YOURSELF!!!!!!

Do Ilene's Index Card Exercise. If you can't find it here,
PM me and I'll send it to you. It will help you focus
clearly on his disrespect and abuse.

Do things for yourself that nourish and nurture YOU.

Connect with friends.

Engage in activities that delight you.

LOVE YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
blackdog999
blackdog999
For me I move on from a man who has hurt and abandoned me by deciding why he did what he did....concluding he is quite clearly a very sick man for whatever reason...and then I generate sympathy for the guy...you have got to feel sorry for him...he cannot love...he will never know the depth and connection of a mature love relationship because he is not capable of one. If he treated you like this it means he will treat the next one like this and the next. Its not about you. Its about his failings, inadequacy and inability to connect at a genuine soul to soul level. HOw very very sad for him. If a creature is this pathetic and lost and in so much unacknowledged pain...anyone who would treat you like this has alot of fear and pain in their hearts...this is why they cannot and connect on a genuine soul to soul level as mature loving adults.

You however are capable of love and genuine connection.

this means you now have 2 things he will never have

1) you got rid of him..wow!! now that was lucky because his behaviour could have really ground you down if it went on much longer...until you never got back up. He will never be free of himself

2) you have the chance now of a good life and a genuine love relationship. He will never have that because his pain and fear is unacknowledged so he will (most likely) never get any help with it and will therefore most likely never change.

Thats how I look at it. Its not smoke and mirrors either. This is the truth as I see it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know you are hurting now, but there is someone better out there for you, you'll see. It took 25 years to get away from an emotional and verbal rage addict that I can now call my ex, finally. Someday you will see that letter of incompatibility as a gift. He is leaving you instead of you having to have an escape plan someday to help you leave him. I know it's tough to get over him, and I'm sure your self-esteem is taking a hit, but you will get through it and become a stronger person because of it. Hang in there - there is a better guy waiting for you somewhere!