Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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CallmeJim 10/28/2013

My wife finally came to me to talk about what happened during my shift break today. She apologized for blowing up and said she was open to the idea of counseling. Any ideas on what I should look for in a couple's specialist? What works/worked for you, what didn't? Anything major that should send me running away from a particular individual?

IleneW 10/28/2013

Jim -----

If your wife is abusive,
then couple counceling
is NOT going to do any
good.

Couple counceling is
useful for a very small
population of relatively
functional couples.

In cases where one of
the spouses is abusive,
couple counceling can
be WORSE than nothing.

Please be cautious about
counseling together with
your wife, if she is in any
way abusive. And since
you're posting here in an
on-line community that
supports survivors of
abuse, I'm thinking
there's a good chance
that she is. Yes/no?

Livndadrem 10/28/2013

I second what Ilene said. There is actually a thread on here where a great many people have shared their experiences of couples counseling with an abusive partner. I have just bumped it for you.

azkevin 10/28/2013

I haven't done couples counseling yet. Every bit of advice I have heard from people who are knowledgeable about abuse or serious mental illness suggest couples counseling is a BAD idea because it has a potential to drag up more dirt and lead to more hurt and more abuse. Nonetheless, that is what my girlfriend wants us to do, and I will go into it with as much knowledge and as open as my mind can get.

If this is the route you and your wife choose, I would strongly suggest you each have your own individual counselor as well.

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