Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Many articles I have read talk about how high positions in corporate America as well as positions in law enforcement and other aspects of the legal system attracts sociopaths and narcissists. But I also realize that religious groups also attracts them not just from my personal experience but also learning about other women's experiences. Whether it be the male religious leader or the men of the community, I have noticed that the men with these disorders are very charismatic with the people to gain their approval. And when he decides to marry a woman in that community based on this "good reputation", she finds out the truth and tries to get help. But because he already laid the foundation for his reputation and also in making her look bad, no one will believe her and she will be denounced and ostracized.
I AM NOT SAYING it is the religions. I am saying that it has to do with the fact that because the men are deemed by God to be the leaders and to be respected, narcissists and sociopaths are attracted to religious groups because of the power of such a status.
I AM NOT SAYING it is the religions. I am saying that it has to do with the fact that because the men are deemed by God to be the leaders and to be respected, narcissists and sociopaths are attracted to religious groups because of the power of such a status.
That is why we as people must NEVER believe gossip.
Do not let anyone tell you stories about other people that will taint how you view that person.
A smart person would NEVER take the word of a charming man that the woman was crazy, stupid. etc etc...
Smart people wait to learn with their own eyes and ears.
So a mean abusive guy can tell anyone he wants what a low down rotten person you are....
Those who believe him don't matter... and those who MATTER WILL NOT believe him... they will make up their own minds.
once again... don't listen to gossip and don't believe it. Ask yourself if the person you are talking to who is "telling you all about someone to give you a heads up" could have their very own agenda...
It all starts with us.
Also... If you are ostracized.... you are still ok... As Mother Theresa said.. "It's never been about you and them.. It's always been about you and HIM" meaning GOD or the Universe or what ever your belief..... Seriously the only opinion that matters is the one you have of that person in the mirror. False friends offer FALSE support... sometime people you think are supporting you are nothing more than Wilson the soccer ball was to Tom Hanks in the movie where he was stranded all alone on an island...
anyway.... Happiness and contentment come from within. If you meet a "Grinch" and he takes everything you have... You still have your spirit and soul.. and that is all you need.
I'm not sure what you're saying. If you're saying that there are sociopathic clergy...then yes, I agree with you. If you're saying that there are More sociopathic clergy than...say...car mechanics...then I'll say that you've been lucky with your car mechanics.
The stories that go around are the interesting ones. And car mechanics are just not all of that interesting...(and I know car mechanics. A high school classmate's father worked on Lamborghini's...he got driven to school one day in one...and that's the sum total of my interesting car mechanics stories...)
are those who are particularly
charming and also charismatic.
They can influence and
manipulate without the
smallest trace of discomfort.
When there finally is discomfort,
the numbers of followers who've
been entranced is overwhelming
and the victim or victims who
begin waking from the trance
encounter intense opposition.
Some of these sociopaths
gravitate to either religions
or cults. Many of their names
are etched into the historical
record in awful tragedies.
Some just fade into
ignoble anonymity.
Other sociopaths find their
way into law enforcement,
lawyering or poliitics. Yikes.
Some go into the medical
field. Some into social
work and psychology.
Sadly, they're out there
among us in every walk
of life and every aspect
of daily activity.
That's why SELF-CARE
is so essential.
The daily practice
of Self-Care builds
our emotional immune
system and serves to
keep us safe (or safer)
and healthy.
We have no way to
prevent sociopaths
from infiltrating our
social circles. But
we can do a lot to
prevent them from
violating our inner
circles. Daily
Self-Care and
healthy boundaries
are potent antidotes
to the toxicity of
dysfunctional people.
There is a type of sociopath that specializes in service to hide what they truly are and gain public praise.
It doesn't make religion bad.
It kind of works on the same principle as a good person who is taken advantage of. There is nothing wrong with being good, but there is always someone wanting to take advantage of it.
Did you hear the story about the 911 victim who organized a support group and helped hundreds and it turns out she lied about being a victim?
I agree. That is why there are religious communities that are leery about newcomers.
I know exactly what you mean. And because of my experience, I am hypervigilant and in some ways, standoffish. I realize that I have to be this way because I have learned that predators are very good at "sniffing out" that characteristic. smh. Often I feel like a lone sheep about to be devoured by a wolf.
Boy are they in for a surprise when I realize what they are... Because if I realize a person is a user who has no qualms about doing other people "dirties" I can stand up for myself and cut them out of my life without a minutes hesitation.
In fact I enjoy being super nice and sweet, because I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. If they are a scoundrel.. I have no problem showing them my strong side. They are kicked to the curb without ceremony!
I am glad that you are able to do so. Just remember that not every woman is not in a vulnerable state like you. Women with a history of abuse like myself are vulnerable because we have not healed. And because we know we are easy targets, we develop defense mechanisms like being standoffish and/or having our guard up. We do what we have to do to protect ourselves from being sucked into old pattern.
JayLady, I do realize that we are all different. Just felt sharing my perspective might help someone.
have a good day!