Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I am just wondering what thoughts people have on this situation.
When my boyfriend would be mean to me, rip into me, be violent etc he would always get angry at me and say it was my fault. I would always be so so sorry and be devestated, but I knew that if I could get him to sleep with me he would forgive me.
I feel horrible that I did this, I always thought I was doing it to be manipulative and force him into staying with me, but now I look back I feel maybe he knew what he was doing to me all along.
I would be interested to know what everyone else thinks, I feel like I need a clear perspective of it.
When my boyfriend would be mean to me, rip into me, be violent etc he would always get angry at me and say it was my fault. I would always be so so sorry and be devestated, but I knew that if I could get him to sleep with me he would forgive me.
I feel horrible that I did this, I always thought I was doing it to be manipulative and force him into staying with me, but now I look back I feel maybe he knew what he was doing to me all along.
I would be interested to know what everyone else thinks, I feel like I need a clear perspective of it.
deleted_user
well, i i end up apologizing for a lot of things i don't do...and you're right, when we give them what they want it usually makes it a little better...the sucky part is you probably didn't have anything to apologize for or to be forgiven for....you were just trying to cope....and those coping mechanisms can just turn us into puppets...you know what i mean?
deleted_user
so, our bandaid of a coping mechanism helps us feel better for a little while...it's a temporary fix....
deleted_user
i think it's called codepency....
deleted_user
You need to be away from that kind of controlling behavior for quite a while until you can start looking at things clearly again. After you are around healthier people and are not around it anymore, you will wonder how you ever got to the point of putting up with it in the first place. Be alone, be around good people, do nice things for yourself. Remember what it feels like to like yourself and be at peace, and not have all the drama of trying to get someone elses validation. You don`t need it. Life is tough enough without having the one who is supposed to love nuture and protect , tear the foundation out from under you. It`s not what they do to you, it`s what you allow them to do to you. Don`t allow it, period. You had nothing with him, besides alot of drama. Remember that, nothing.
deleted_user
off cause he knew !Abusive peopel make up the fights and manage to make us think its all our fault so they can continue to get away with it..Or get what they want ,bonis for him that he got sex every time he picked a fight...If they did not use some mantpulation how long would anyone stay ,not long at all...
queenvalerie
Absolutely he knew what he was doing. You were the one that didn't know what you were doing. You thought you were "getting forgiveness". That is exactly what they want, they want us thinking of nothing but them, living only to please them, acting in ways to make them happy. And that is exactly what you did. It's exactly what we all did at some point.
Join the Conversation