Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I almost feel silly writing about this... but after not hearing from my emotionally abusive ex for weeks, I received a text message from him tonight... Even just seeing his name drove a spike of fear into my heart. I immediately became panicky and depressed. Thinking of the possibility of seeing his face at work makes me so anxious and afraid... Could this possibly be considered post traumatic stress disorder? He never physically abused me, and it almost comes as a shock to think that I was so mentally traumatized by that relationship that just thinking about him scares me.
s121214, is correct that PTSD would have to be diagnosed by a trained professional, but many people develop PTSD from any kind of abuse, including emotional abuse-it does not have to be physical. PTSD has a list of criteria which needs to be met for a diagnosis, and you are correct that intense or prolonged stress after exposure to a trigger to the trauma is one of the criteria. It is not a silly question at all-you noticed a reaction to a trigger, that is a good thing!
Please go No Contact-which means blocking his texts so you don't see them anymore, not just not responding. What you experienced is exactly why No Contact is so important, having that reaction you are being re-traumatized, and can't heal when you are being re-traumatized-you just keep yourself in that "abuse fog" state. Have you thought about counseling with someone trained and experienced in trauma or abuse?
You're totally not silly. Years ago, I used to get a strong reaction to just seeing my parents' or aunt's phone number come up on my ringing phone, and worse to actually hearing any of their voices. The body never lies - both my dad and aunt are narcissistic and mainly emotional abusers. My body tried to warn me about them before I even fully understood why. It knew that all they ever were was bad news whenever they showed up in my life.
Blocking his texts and any other sources that give you these kinds of feelings is definitely a good idea. And seeing the professional. Hugs xxx
When someone has abused us,
even if it's not phsycially, the abuse
has become part of our cells.
If you haven't already, please
consider connecting with some
kind of clinical therapist. Whether
what you're suffering is technically
post traumatic stress or not, you're
obviously suffering, and you don't
have to. There's help and support
out there.
Please take very
good care of yourself.
Sending you hugs and
healing prayers.
No Contact is definitely the way to go. Blocking your ex in every way possible is the only way to prevent those feelings from popping back up. If you guys don't work together and he'd just be showing up to bug you, consider telling your employer or a manager you trust what's going on. I was lucky enough at the time to work for a company at the time that treated me like family, and knowing they had my back gave me a lot of comfort during work hours. You deserve the right to feel safe so you can function, because that fear can be debilitating.
But hon, that control,is AN ILLUSION. He is going to do whatever he wants, and knowing about it in advance doesn't make it happen or not happen-HE decides that. All I gained by not going NC was my trauma. I allowed myself to continue to be abused, just no longer fact to face.
So I'm going to call you on a little bs here, because I remember you and I remember your story. I remember the texts you saved and all the threats and things he said. You ALREADY have more than enough proof to get an RO right NOW if you wanted to. Please consider the damage that might be done to you by not going complete NC and blocking that SOB.
When you were in the relationship you didn't know you were being abused, now you do. You can make choices now, to NOT be. It's SO not worth it. Especially with the symptoms you mentioned. Why turn acute stress into PTSD by continually traumatizing yourself with contact from this jerk. I've seen severe PTSD. It's not a pretty picture.
Just like you can have times where you experience anxiety, but not have an anxiety disorder.
Can you not experience post traumatic moments even if you don't fit the entire criteria?
Tangelo, to answer what I think you are asking, it is possible to have some pretty serious stress responses and not fit all the criteria of PTSD. However, that may mean you fit another disorder such as an adjustment disorder, or acute stress disorder (the precursor to PTSD which has to exist for a predetermined amount of time before the symptoms meet diagnostic criteria for PTSD), or generalized anxiety disorder, or whatever. Yet again, the stress responses may be a perfectly "normal" reaction to a stressor, meaning, as you indicated, because you have a response, behavior, symptom, attitude (whatever) doesn't mean you have some diagnosable disorder at all, necessarily. And "normal" is subjective as well, of course.
PTSD is a label for a set of symptoms that is detailed in a diagnostic book so psychologists and psychiatrists have a way to bill insurance companies for treatment for individuals who suffer enough distress and impairment that they seek out help with it. It is somewhat subjective (people get misdiagnosed all the time), and it certainly does not encompass the incalculable range of behaviors, symptoms, emotions, reactions, distress and impairment that life stressors, such as abuse, can create in the unique individuals that we all are. However one wants to label it or look at it depends on what the person is 'getting out' of the label or the perspective of looking at PAIN and STRESS a certain way.
I don't know if this makes sense, or is helpful to anyone in any way, I guess what I'm saying is saying what it IS can be helpful in getting tools to deal with it-but the important thing is finding what helps-not really the label....the label just MAY help some people get the help they need.