Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi everyone. I am new here. I'm glad to have found a place to talk to people with similar experiences. I'm trying extract myself from a six year marriage with an emotionally abusive man. It took me this long and several concurrent events for me to realize it was abuse and be able to call it that. One thing that happened is our little girl (nearly 2 yrs old) has started experiencing his mood swings and his cursing me out and his unpredictability. I don't want her growing up this way.
I asked him to move out on March 6 and it took two weeks of bitter battling for him to finally leave. Thankfully my mom liveshere and threatened him to call the cops. Now he's living in our car and in hotel rooms and keeps making excuses why he can't get a real place even though he has a well-paying job.
I go between wanting an immediate divorce (not possible due to state laws anyway) to wanting to be careful about inciting him and wanting to give him a chance to get help. He did sign up for an assessment at the local center that deals with domestic violence issues. i signed up for the women's group there and start next week. If history is any indicator he will not be able to change and even if he worked really hard it would take years. And yet I still have the irrational emotional connection and the desire to fix things. I really don't trust myself. I hope that I can stay strong and trust my better judgement.
Thanks for listening.
I asked him to move out on March 6 and it took two weeks of bitter battling for him to finally leave. Thankfully my mom liveshere and threatened him to call the cops. Now he's living in our car and in hotel rooms and keeps making excuses why he can't get a real place even though he has a well-paying job.
I go between wanting an immediate divorce (not possible due to state laws anyway) to wanting to be careful about inciting him and wanting to give him a chance to get help. He did sign up for an assessment at the local center that deals with domestic violence issues. i signed up for the women's group there and start next week. If history is any indicator he will not be able to change and even if he worked really hard it would take years. And yet I still have the irrational emotional connection and the desire to fix things. I really don't trust myself. I hope that I can stay strong and trust my better judgement.
Thanks for listening.
sorry for the circumstances
that have brought you here.
ooooo is correct. There's
usually no need to rush
into anything, though I
might suggest getting
some sort of custody
agreement set up
before he digs in his
heels.
I also agree with you that
for most of the population
of abusers, only an infintessimal
percentage are able to make
any kind of positive change
and even fewer than that
could ever actually become
non-abusive.
In any case, the priority
for you right now is to
practice self-care.
Whatever your husband
decides to do regarding
his living arrangement
is up to him. He's stalling
right now in an attempt to
manipulate you to relent
and let him back in.
When you have a chance
I suggest you look at the
thread here called, "Ilene's
Clarifying Index Card exercise."
(I'll bump it for you.) It might
be able to help you document
the experience of your marriage
and also be a support to you
to keep your focus over the
course of time.
Those are my thoughts for
you at this point in your journey.
Good for you for making
this tough decision.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
better days ahead.