Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I was looking at the news online and found three different tragedies where a man shot his current girlfreind or ex-girlfriend! One man told the police he did it cause she made him mad. One guy shot his ex girlfriend in front of there baby girl and then shot himself!
Its scary because I dont know what to do me and my ex dont talk that much but he does call me from time to time. Im scared to change my number because I know he would get mad. I did that once before and he harrassed me for a while through my space a while back and then finally just stopped. He had a new girlfriend and left me alone for about a year. That happened about three yrs ago. He has a bad temper! He dosent have facebook or on any other social networks anymore.
Back in December we had a really bad fight because I was not there for him when he needed me! He told me he was going to lose my number and never talk to me again. He told me that he didnt love me anymore and that our son we have was not his. He told me to have another man take care of us. FYI he has never taken care of my child so whatever! Anyway we didnt talk anymore until March. He text me one night out of the blue and said " Im moving back home to Mississipi just thought id let you know" His mom asked him about me and said "What happened to her" he told her that..." I had my own life and to leave him alone about it." Then she asked "Well she was a good girl what did you do"? He has 5 different baby mama's including myself. He told me I was the only one giving him trouble which I find hard to beleive. He has only seen my son once or twice and I choose to keep my child away from him. My son does not have his last name because he basically left me while I was pregnant because I made him mad which I did nothing wrong but ok. He is real good at leaving and not talking to me for months or even a year and then resurfacing back on the scene. When I least expect it. He does not live in my state anymore so we are far away from each other which is a releif. For the most part he was never physically abusive just emotionally. I think if given the chance he would have put his hands on me. I just always gave in to him and when he told me to do something I did it. Which I struggle with everyday letting a man do me the way he did! Why I got myself in this situation well he wasnt this way when I first met him and when he showed his true colors is when I had already fallen for him. Then in the beginning I didnt realize what he was doing was abuse I was so naive! I was 20 years old when I met him and I am now 27. I just want to live my life free of fear and free of him!!!!
Its scary because I dont know what to do me and my ex dont talk that much but he does call me from time to time. Im scared to change my number because I know he would get mad. I did that once before and he harrassed me for a while through my space a while back and then finally just stopped. He had a new girlfriend and left me alone for about a year. That happened about three yrs ago. He has a bad temper! He dosent have facebook or on any other social networks anymore.
Back in December we had a really bad fight because I was not there for him when he needed me! He told me he was going to lose my number and never talk to me again. He told me that he didnt love me anymore and that our son we have was not his. He told me to have another man take care of us. FYI he has never taken care of my child so whatever! Anyway we didnt talk anymore until March. He text me one night out of the blue and said " Im moving back home to Mississipi just thought id let you know" His mom asked him about me and said "What happened to her" he told her that..." I had my own life and to leave him alone about it." Then she asked "Well she was a good girl what did you do"? He has 5 different baby mama's including myself. He told me I was the only one giving him trouble which I find hard to beleive. He has only seen my son once or twice and I choose to keep my child away from him. My son does not have his last name because he basically left me while I was pregnant because I made him mad which I did nothing wrong but ok. He is real good at leaving and not talking to me for months or even a year and then resurfacing back on the scene. When I least expect it. He does not live in my state anymore so we are far away from each other which is a releif. For the most part he was never physically abusive just emotionally. I think if given the chance he would have put his hands on me. I just always gave in to him and when he told me to do something I did it. Which I struggle with everyday letting a man do me the way he did! Why I got myself in this situation well he wasnt this way when I first met him and when he showed his true colors is when I had already fallen for him. Then in the beginning I didnt realize what he was doing was abuse I was so naive! I was 20 years old when I met him and I am now 27. I just want to live my life free of fear and free of him!!!!
You wrote:
I think if given the chance he would have put his hands on me.
This is an ex who is STALKING you
and you're AFRAID of him.
Please write down EVERYTHING
you shared with us here and
anything about him that you
didn't include.
You also wrote:
For the most part he was never physically abusive just emotionally.
I would want to know what
"for the most part" means.
And, for the record,
emotional violence
is as bad as physical.
So you don't have to
minimize it by saying
"just."
Anyway, after you've
written down the whole
history of him, contact
your local women's center
and ask what steps you can
take to get a restraining order.
If there's no women's center
near you, the go straight to
the police department.
If you don't want that man to be part of your life, don't answer his calls or texts. Be strong. By the sounds of it, he is the last thing you need in your life and good on you for standing on your own feet for it.
If you feel as though he would hurt you or your son, call the local non-emergency police line and ask to talk to a law enforcement officer about your options. Tell them what's going on and ask what you can do about it, that's what they are there for. Arm yourself with knowledge and strengthen your resolve. In addition to that, the police take record of everything. So if you make your situation known now, if anything does happen in the future then you have evidence that this has been a long-standing concern. That would just be you protecting yourself against the worst-case scenario.
Be safe and stay strong!
"I would want to know what
"for the most part" means."
My wording was a little wrong there. Sorry I was just thinking and typing my thoughts. I am not down playing the abuse at all he was horrible. I never thought emotional abuse would hurt so bad. I have never been in a situation like this with any guy. You are right I am very afraid of him and I am going to take the neccessary steps to take care of this issue. What scares me about restraining orders is if someone really wanted to do something to you would that really stop them. Then I read where they notify the person. I have family member living all around me that would be ready to shoot him onsite if he were to ever try anything. His mood is so up and down its not even funny! One minute he can be yelling and screaming at me then the next im sorry I love u so much. I need you! I remember one instance when he came by my house and he didnt want to pass my grandfather in the front yard. So he wanted me to come to the door and meet him so he could come in. He wouldnt speak to him or nothing. He never really wanted to be around my family at all. Even from the start. He has major issues.
Is there a way to have this information noted without my ex knowing about it?
Thank you ladies for your advice. I am going to take action!