"Seems" is the operative word here. I seemed happy to friends and family when I was with my ex. I hid my problems as many do in these situations.
That's a common question, but they aren't different with anyone before or after you... abusers are who they are, it's what they do.

No, dear. In time, he will show his true colors.

The truth of what and who he is cannot remain hidden. It will manifest itself in time.

I bet you were happy with him too in the beginning....how else would he have sucked you in. They don't change, he's just setting her up for the kill...

Just a matter of time, sweetie.

Don't be covetous. Be compassionate.
She will end up in pain, as well.

Do you think a snake changes it's personality when it sheds its skin?
No. New skin. Same personality.

Keep your focus forward. Looking backward, you will trip.

give it time......

Thank you so much everyone. I was just wondering. Cause even though me and him dont talk anymore I do go on his myspace page from time to time and I glanced at hers. She was saying how happy she was with him and she has pictures of them together and they looked so happy. Then there are pictures of them together with her kids and that kindof hurt because we have a son together and he hasnt done one thing for him at all. I cant help but feel like you are there with her kids that arent even yours but you cant be there for your own. Thats backwards to me but oh well. BUT I was the same way in the beginning. So I dont envy that because she has no idea the amount of hurt and pain that she will have to go through in the end. Its been two yrs since we were together and I am still living with the pain of it all. Thanks again God Bless!!!!

blessed ----

Your pain will lessen when you're able to detach and distance yourself enough to not be looking at stuff connected with the players who were connected with the origin of that pain.

Your current pain seems to be connected with your visiting the networking pages connected with something that's been "over" for two years.

STOP VISITING!!!!!!!!! and the pain will begin to lessen.

Best thoughts to you.

Take care.

Hell no!!! I just went through wondering this too. No, they don't change. My ex was mr casanova in the beginging. Even for the first year---gifts, cards, flowers, sweet, attentive, we did everything together. It was bliss. TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE?? Yes!

This is how they sucker ppl in. Then when the abuse starts, you/they think that its and isolated incident...And you spend years hoping and praying that things will go back to the way they were in "the beginging" when you were never so happy in all of your life. IT NEVER HAPPENS. Sigh...

The first time my abuser was verbally abusive (about 6 months into things) he called me a CUNT, I was appalled as this was the 1st time anyone called me such a name, and was going to break up with him , then lavished me with a $4000 fur jacket as an apology and pleaded with me that he was so wrong, loves me so much, was under stress, blah, blah, blah. We jokingly called it the "cunt coat." ---So NOT funny now. After 5-6 more years, he called me a cunt so many times, there were NO more apologies from him, let alone coats. It just became the norm. Sickness!!!!

God, if I only knew then what I know now. ANyway, enough about ME. (sorry) ---Don't be envious of your ex's new lady. She is in the "being fooled stage." Thats all. YOU know is TRUE COLORS!!!!

My ex narc abusive boyfriend literally admitted to me he used to do the exact same thing to his ex girlfriend and he didn't know why. And that he is afraid to date new girls because he is going to "eff their lives up" if he does.
He dated a 20 year old youngster RIGHT after me, but promptly already got sick of her too.
He will grow tired of trying to hide his true self! Just wait.
I can totally relate though. I ask myself the same question all the time.

Yep, agree with all of that. Unless he has sought help and really done some serious self analysis (I do believe people CAN change, I just don't believe it happens very often) then at some point he will do the same to her - if he's not already.

And in particular, I agree completely with staying well away from his myspace page or anywhere else you are looking to find information about him or his girlfriend. It's hard to stay away, you want to know - partly looking for some sign that karma has come back to bite him (well, that was my reasoning anyway) but it's destructive to you.

one thing i have learned is that people rarely ever change, unless they truely want to. and in my opinion is that if he was able to hurt you, then he sees no wrong with his actions and in time he will show who he really is.