Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Im sorry I havent been on the board much lately Ive just been trying to deal with my depression and life in general.
I got horrible news from my lawyer yesterday. Apparently my stbx has already gone to the family court judge here (in the city where we previous lived) and got a court order stating that our daughters permanent residence is at his address. He did this 2 weeks after I left him, maybe 1-2 days after I left the womens shelter and I was staying in a hotel temporarily while waiting for my lawyer to tell me it was OK to leave the city and while waiting for my mom to arrive since I had NO family NO friends and NO money.
Anyway, my lawyer told me that we absolutely HAVE to get things going, like that day. I was waiting on a translation for my brothers witness testimony but she told me to forget about it and send everything I had from my other family members because she had to appeal ASAP otherwise I could lose custody of my child.
I am still just SHOCKED that the judge believed him without even checking ANY facts or anything like that. This son of a b**** went to the family judge and told them that I had taken his child and that he didnt know where I was and that I was going to flee the country. Meanwhile he KNEW I was in a womens shelter (because he kept texting me he was going to come with the police and even later on told me he knew exactly what hotel I was staying in) AND he was still e-mailing me. So, when he got the hearing date 2 weeks later, he went without even telling me about it (which he was still contacting me so he obviously chose NOT to tell me), and thus, the judge ruled in HIS favor.
I still dont understand how he managed to do this given that he didnt file separation papers nor a divorce and to get a ruling like that you usually have to have one or the other.
How this mother f*cker is manipulating me from afar is just ASTOUNDING. I keep on telling my judge that he is a professional CON MAN and that they need to take this whole custody thing VERY seriously because if he gets custody I have NO doubt in my mind that he will leave the country with her. There is currently a ban on either of us taking her out of the country but he is such a BAD person I know he WILL falsify passports or do whatever he has to do to get her.
All I have to say is that once we get the appeal done and we go to court again with BOTH parties present all of these facts will be laid out before the judge with a timeline of events and I am hoping justice will FINALLY be served.
In the meantime, I am majorly stressing because, technically, he could show up with the police (theyd have to get a warrant first, but still) and take her because of this judges ruling. Luckily I kept insisting that they DO NOT put my address on any paperwork.
Its been a rough few days. I just feel like this is all turning around on me. I am trying to do the RIGHT thing, yet you would think HE is the victim. This whole thing is just ridiculous! Im trying to hold it together but its getting harder and harder.
I got horrible news from my lawyer yesterday. Apparently my stbx has already gone to the family court judge here (in the city where we previous lived) and got a court order stating that our daughters permanent residence is at his address. He did this 2 weeks after I left him, maybe 1-2 days after I left the womens shelter and I was staying in a hotel temporarily while waiting for my lawyer to tell me it was OK to leave the city and while waiting for my mom to arrive since I had NO family NO friends and NO money.
Anyway, my lawyer told me that we absolutely HAVE to get things going, like that day. I was waiting on a translation for my brothers witness testimony but she told me to forget about it and send everything I had from my other family members because she had to appeal ASAP otherwise I could lose custody of my child.
I am still just SHOCKED that the judge believed him without even checking ANY facts or anything like that. This son of a b**** went to the family judge and told them that I had taken his child and that he didnt know where I was and that I was going to flee the country. Meanwhile he KNEW I was in a womens shelter (because he kept texting me he was going to come with the police and even later on told me he knew exactly what hotel I was staying in) AND he was still e-mailing me. So, when he got the hearing date 2 weeks later, he went without even telling me about it (which he was still contacting me so he obviously chose NOT to tell me), and thus, the judge ruled in HIS favor.
I still dont understand how he managed to do this given that he didnt file separation papers nor a divorce and to get a ruling like that you usually have to have one or the other.
How this mother f*cker is manipulating me from afar is just ASTOUNDING. I keep on telling my judge that he is a professional CON MAN and that they need to take this whole custody thing VERY seriously because if he gets custody I have NO doubt in my mind that he will leave the country with her. There is currently a ban on either of us taking her out of the country but he is such a BAD person I know he WILL falsify passports or do whatever he has to do to get her.
All I have to say is that once we get the appeal done and we go to court again with BOTH parties present all of these facts will be laid out before the judge with a timeline of events and I am hoping justice will FINALLY be served.
In the meantime, I am majorly stressing because, technically, he could show up with the police (theyd have to get a warrant first, but still) and take her because of this judges ruling. Luckily I kept insisting that they DO NOT put my address on any paperwork.
Its been a rough few days. I just feel like this is all turning around on me. I am trying to do the RIGHT thing, yet you would think HE is the victim. This whole thing is just ridiculous! Im trying to hold it together but its getting harder and harder.
My ex-husband legally kidnapped my daughter during our separation. First, he claimed I had abandoned her while I visited a friend in another state and got a emergency temporary custody. HE told ME he was afraid I was going to kidnap her, and I thinking, wait, you are telling the courts I just up and left her because you think I'm going to come and take her? What kind of lying, crazy person are you?
My point is, as soon as I met with our divorce judge in a divorce proceeding that got unceremoniously thrown out, and reasonable terms of separation were put in it's place. This is a setback, but all is not lost!
Warm hugs
Keeping you in my prayers, take good care of yourself
My lawyer is going to get a judge on Monday for an emergency court date to appeal the ruling. I have quite a bit of evidence against him to prove that he lied, including a text message from the DAY I left specifically stating I was NOT going to leave the country. I also have proof that I tried to stay in contact with him, whenever he asked about our daughter I replied and sent pictures but I stopped after he accused me of being with another man and trying to pass him off as her father (wtf?), so I stopped responding to his harassment. That way I have proof he had a way to contact me but he didn't.
Anyway all I can say is that the original judge is probably going to be P*SSED that he lied to her so blatantly about WHY I left, since he completely left out the fact it was due to DM. He just said following a "dispute" in his statement.
I do have a great lawyer who is really working hard to get a good appeal for me, and I have plenty of evidence to back it all up.
This a-hole thinks he is so smart trying to pull this over on me but it's going to turn around on him! Oh, and my lawyer is requesting that he has to pay all the fees for this mess, which has gotten very expensive. I really hope the judge sees right through this conman!