Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
He's not isolating me per say.
But I feel a strong desire to isolate myself. Avoid. Completely avoid my friends. Even my closest friends who know what's going on and have been supportive in trying to help me. I feel drained, and I'm certain I'm draining them. I feel the need to avoid almost all social situations. When I am in social places, I have no desire to be friendly or positive. I'm tired of being fake and pretending it's all ok.
But I feel a strong desire to isolate myself. Avoid. Completely avoid my friends. Even my closest friends who know what's going on and have been supportive in trying to help me. I feel drained, and I'm certain I'm draining them. I feel the need to avoid almost all social situations. When I am in social places, I have no desire to be friendly or positive. I'm tired of being fake and pretending it's all ok.
It also expresses
so well, the tragedy
of emotional abuse.
After we've suffered
abuse long enough,
the damage to our
psyche, our spirit
and our soul results
in the presence of
the actual abuser
becoming irrelevant.
The toxicity that was
inflicted on us ends
up acting like a
contagious infection
to which we were
exposed. It's not
necessary for the
abuser to keep us
isolated. The toxicity
that's become a part
of our every day
has the same
effect that the
abuser used to.
If you haven't already,
I urge you in the
strongest terms to
seek qualified
counseling or
therapy.
You DON'T have to
pretend it's all okay
when it's obviously
not.
But if your out there
without any support,
nothing will ever get
any better.
(Referring to your
very brief profile):
You don't have to be
"done," because if
you're not done,
he doesn't win.
where I live now with my soon to be ex, I have 1 person I really call a friend, and she's in an abusive marriage and she has chosen to accept the behavior. That's it, one friend and she can't really support me in this because she doesn't really think my husband's behavior is wrong.
I partly blame my husband b/c he has wanted us to be together alone whenever possible and I've gone along with what he wanted. I also have blamed myself because I haven't had the emotional energy to devote to building true friendships, and I generally fear people at this point. What Ilene said makes total sense to me. And I think it's sad. I talk to cashiers and workers at the grocery stores I frequent just to have some social interaction. But I feel afraid to go beyond the "friendly acquaintance" stage with most people. It stinks
***HUGS***
My socialization includes going to a Pilates class, running errands and hanging with my husband and kids. Every now and then, I meet up with friends for dog walks or coffee -- and that's really all I can handle. I get bored easily, too when in the company of others.
I guess what I do is to keep most people at arm's length. I think that some people have found it irritating and back off. But, they haven't been in my shoes.
Would I like to include more people in my circle? Of course! But, so many of them out there just don't seem to have very good motives. I'm in my mid 40s and I just cannot afford to have any more turmoil due to people's personality disorders. Think I've been through enough.
BTW, I love nature -- it brings me peace.
I haven't isolated. I just want to. I went to the gym this morning and then breakfast with my friends. Things go well once I'm with them. I can laugh and enjoy myself. It's just a desire to hide and avoid. I do usually force myself out of it tho.