Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
How do you know what you need to just call it quits..
I guess sometimes your very best, isn't enough for someone. It just hurts so bad when you give your all to someone you love so much, and it doesn't seem to matter to them. Your pain isn't worthy of their time or attention or effort to try and make you feel better. They aren't on the receiving end of their words and the physical pain they cause?
The pain you feel is unimaginable, it consumes your soul. Hurts you to the very core. You can practically hear your own heart breaking into a million little pieces. & the tears steaming down your face, well there's no coaxing them to stop. They fall freely, for all the things you hoped it would all be. And the moment your precious little boy comes to you , asking where his daddy is? And you look into his wondering eyes, & you do your best to hold it together, and tell him its all going to be okay, But in your mind, you have no idea if it is going to be. Because right now, you are slowly falling apart....
- The girl with a broken heart
I guess sometimes your very best, isn't enough for someone. It just hurts so bad when you give your all to someone you love so much, and it doesn't seem to matter to them. Your pain isn't worthy of their time or attention or effort to try and make you feel better. They aren't on the receiving end of their words and the physical pain they cause?
The pain you feel is unimaginable, it consumes your soul. Hurts you to the very core. You can practically hear your own heart breaking into a million little pieces. & the tears steaming down your face, well there's no coaxing them to stop. They fall freely, for all the things you hoped it would all be. And the moment your precious little boy comes to you , asking where his daddy is? And you look into his wondering eyes, & you do your best to hold it together, and tell him its all going to be okay, But in your mind, you have no idea if it is going to be. Because right now, you are slowly falling apart....
- The girl with a broken heart
If you feel that you want to leave, my suggestion is to reach out to a counselor/therapist to help you get clarification. If your boyfriend/husband is abusive in any way, being verbally, emotionally or physically, it helps to talk to a counselor with a women's shelter for domestic violence victims. They can guide you, support you and if you decide to leave, help you with a plan. That's what I did and I found the information she gave me to be empowering and it was such a relief to find out that I was not the problem, but he was. I had been blamed and shamed so much that I didn't know if I was being too sensitive or what, and once I got some perspective I started to feel less pain about myself and more anger at him and his treatment of me and my two sons, and that energy drove me to leave.
Welcome to the group and I hope you continue to share with us, and get some much needed support. Hugs to you and your son!
I know it's hard, and I feel your pain because I have felt just like you describe. I know it feels like your world is ending, but this grief is necessary to go through. You are in mourning, and this is the kindest thing you can do: give yourself tender self-care. It is not your fault.
Your son will one day know what it took for you to leave and why you did it, and then he will look at you with love and respect, and thank you. I know, because I have made extreme sacrifices to get my kids away from abuse, and now that they are mostly all grown up I am just so thankful for the choices I made to protect them, even though it was hard at the time.
How do you know? I think you know....
I'd spend more time figuring out how to heal since you do know it's time to rip off the Band-Aid.
Of course your son wants his dad. But it sounds like his dad is not good for him. My son has a TON of cavities now at 3 since I put him to bed with a bottle when he was younger because he wanted it.
Now, he asks for candy, and I explain that he can't because it's going to make the holes in teeth worse. (We're waiting for a dentist to open up in March who will take our insurance... otherwise, it'll be an 8K bill!)
My point? Focus your energy on helping your son to deal with the pain of the loss instead of the pain of abuse.
I hope I helped a little bit.
Gentle hugs.