Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have been married for 20 years and have two sons. My oldest moved out because he could not get a long with my husband. Through the years my husband has thrown things at me, controlled all of the money, isolated me from friends and family, and forced himself on me. He has been manipulative and is very self centered. My question is, cam a man like that change. My mother recently passed away and since he figured out that I got some money from her estate as well as the fact that we may have to sell the house that we live in that my mother owned, he has been actually nice and loving,. I am afraid he will revert as soon as he gets his hands on the money and convinces me to not sell the house
statistics (of which
there are sadly few),
are not encouraging.
You wrote:
Through the years my husband has thrown things at me, controlled all of the money, isolated me from friends and family, and forced himself on me. He has been manipulative and is very self centered.
". . . . forced himself on me."
Hon. . . . that's rape.
Throwing things is known
as symbolic violence.
Controling all the money,
isolating you, being very
self-centered and being
manipulative are indicators
of abuse.
" . . . . he has actually been
nice and loving" . . . . in
anticipation of your anticipated
inheritance.
Will he change?
What does your gut tell you?
In my personal and professional
opinion. . . . if he does change,
the change will be for the worse.
I suspect you already know
the answer to your question.
"I am afraid he will revvert as soon as he gets his hands on the money aand convinces me to not sell the house."
My money is on what your
inner fear (also known as
intuition), is telling you.
Please take good care
of yourself.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
better days.
Ilene has said it all, so all I can do is echo her words.
As for the money, many states do NOT consider inheritances to be joint property as long as the money/assets are NOT put in the spouse's name, even jointly. So please check with an attorney to find out what your state's laws are. And whatever you do don't put his name on anything that you inherited.
I wouldn't do anything money-wise until I've spoken with an attorney.